- Coach Cherri Wolf: Jerri, what does V-I-C-T-O-R-Y spell?
- Jerri Blank: Fandango? Hobocamp? Ho... hobocamp!
- Principal Onyx Blackman: Jerri, I'm an obtuse man, so I'll try to be oblique. Your illiteracy has made me the whipping boy of this school district. I attended the school board meeting this morning, and they all had their little laugh. It was a feeding frenzy of cackling hyenas, and I was the wildebeest carcass.
- Glenn the Bus Driver: You have no idea what it's like to not be able to do something that everyone expects you to be able to do.
- Jerri Blank: Oh, I think I do, Glenn. And I also think that maybe it's time to stop not doing what you pretended you can do, and can't; and start doing the thing that you can't do, but can no longer pretend that you can.
- Glenn the Bus Driver: You're right, Jerri!
- Jerri Blank: You have no idea what it's like to not be able to do something that everyone expects you to be able to do.
- Glenn the Bus Driver: Oh, I think I do, Glenn. And I also think that maybe it's time to stop not doing what you pretended you can do, and can't; and start doing the thing that you can't do, but can no longer pretend that you can.
- Jerri Blank: You're right, Jerri!
- Jerri Blank: [to Alan, the blind student] I think it's brave of you wanting to play football. I think it's sexy. It makes me as damp as a cellar down there - all mildewy. Enter if you dare...