- [Mr. Moseby is at a Red Sox vs. Yankees game with Zach and Cody]
- Mr. Moseby: Stealing a base, while "theatrical," is statistically inadvisable!
- Fan: I'll tell you what's inadvisable. Shooting off your mouth when you don't know diddly!
- Mr. Moseby: Well, I'm sure that this Diddly is a fine fellow!
- Mr. Moseby: Ho many times have I told you not to disturb the guests?
- Cody Martin: 2708
- Zack Martin: But it never gets old...
- Cody Martin: Hey mom! e got 3 tickets so you can take us to the game tomorro!
- Zack Martin: Won't that be fun?
- Mr. Moseby: [scene change] Not fun!
- Carey Martin: The more you connect with them the less your stuff they'll break.
- Mr. Moseby: You really expect me to believe that?
- Carey Martin: No... Mr. Moesby, please, please, please, please, please! I never get a day to myself and the boys love you.
- Mr. Moseby: They love me?
- Carey Martin: No, but they might if you took them to a baseball game.
- Guest #1: Well, I can't believe that hotel guy won't take his own kids to a baseball game.
- Mr. Moseby: They're not my...
- Guest #2: That's just not right.
- Mr. Moseby: But I hate baseball.
- Guest #1: Now that's just un-American.
- Guest #2: Can you believe this guy? I guess you hate apple pie too, huh, fella? And puppies. And your own mama.
- Mr. Moseby: Sir...
- [shouts]
- Mr. Moseby: I love my mama!
- [to Carey]
- Mr. Moseby: I'd love to take the boys to the game. What time is kick-off?