- Ilsa Schiklegoobermeyger: You may have won this time, but I'll get you next time pretty, and your little staff too.
- Carey: [to Zack] What is it with you? I tell you not to do something, and you promise not to do it, and you do it anyways!
- Zack Martin: Life. It's all a learning experience.
- Cody Martin: And you've learned nothing.
- Mr. Moseby: [about Zack] Ha, ha! Here comes our star bowler now.
- Maddie: The Zackinator!
- Esteban: Zackmeister!
- Mr. Moseby: Zack Attack!
- London: Zack-a... person who's real good!
- Arwin: I lost the match, I lost the championship and Mother... she lost a foot.
- Zack Martin: Oh, my gosh. Does she walk with a limp?
- Arwin: Oh, no, no, no. The ball actually landed on her head. She lost a foot. She was 6 feet, now she's 5 feet.
- Zack Martin: [to Cody] I need you to do my current events homework. Mr. Moseby wants me to rest my golden arm.
- Cody Martin: Well, you better get the newspaper first because you're doing your own stinking homework.
- Zack Martin: Fine, fine, fine. But if I pull a finger muscle, it's on your head.
- Cody Martin: Well, it's better than where it usually is: up your nose digging for gold.
- Carey: [to Zack about what he did to Cody] You locked him in the hallway with no clothes.
- Zack Martin: But two weeks of no TV is cruel and unusual punishment.
- Carey: Don't push it. And if you do it again, I'll ground you so long they'll write country music songs about it.