- [Ray Charles' "Hit the Road Jack." can be heard in the background]
- King Bowser Koopa: Hey, mouse-brain, where's that music coming from?
- Mouser: Maybe you left your radio on.
- King Bowser Koopa: Don't be silly. This is Pasta Land. Radio hasn't been invented yet.
- Luigi: [about Koopa] Why would he want all of Pasta Land's bambinos?
- Mayor Fettuccine: Who knows?
- [Mouser appears]
- Mouser: I do. Listen to this Koopagram.
- [unravels a note]
- Mouser: [reads] "Your children are now prisoners at Koopa Castle. I will only give them back if you give me your entire spaghetti tree crop. Signed, King Koopa." You owe him four gold coins. He sends this C.O.D.
- Luigi: Careful, Mario. There could be real danger behind that door.
- Mario: [opens the door] It can't be any worse than a dungeon full of water.
- [Koopa appears]
- King Bowser Koopa: Wanna bet, my soggy little sink slob?
- King Bowser Koopa: Troopas, take these plumbers prisoner. Also, the princess and that fathead Mushroom.
- Toad: Hey, moose nostrils, you call me fathead once more, and I'll give ya a fat lip!
- Princess Toadstool: Look how high these handcuffs are. This dungeon must get a lot of tall prisoners.
- Toad: They get tall after Koopa stretches them!
- Luigi: [still holding on to his handcuffs] You guys land in one piece?
- Toad: What's the matter, Luigi? You're scared?
- Luigi: I don't like high places.
- Mario: It ain't high down here.
- Luigi: You got a point.
- [Luigi closes his eyes and lets go, but lands on Toad]
- Toad: Oof! Ouch!
- Luigi: What was I scared of? That was a real soft landing.
- [the Mushroom children are playing happily in the castle courtyard]
- King Bowser Koopa: Mouser, this is NOT a nursery school. This is an evil castle.
- [the Mario Bros. made instruments out of pipes]
- Toad: I hope you guys can play those things.
- Luigi: Are you kiddin'? We played in the Brooklyn Plumbing School band for three years.
- Mario: [chuckles] Yeah, before they threw us out for eating during a concert.
- Luigi: YOU were eating. I was holding your salami sandwich while you turned the page.
- [as the Mushroom children escape]
- King Bowser Koopa: [to Mouser] This flute will bring them back, and then I'm putting you in full charge of the little brats.
- [Koopa runs off]
- Mouser: If Koopa thinks he's putting ME in charge of those vegetable delinquents again, he's flipped!
- [Mouser pulls the lever, lifting the drawbridge, and causing Koopa to fall into the moat]