- E.L. 'Tenspeed' Turner: Look, do you know Larry Rodman's mother?
- Sartain's Henchman: No, we don't meet many mothers in our business.
- Lionel Whitney: You see, it's been my experience that whenever a large sum of money surfaces, narcotics usually aren't far behind. Ergo, Art Sartain is deeply involved in a major narcotics operation.
- Judge Ducharme: [interrupting] Sartain is the kingpin of a check hiding ring. He runs it by computer.
- Lionel Whitney: That was my backup theory.
- Sartain: Ok, you two. I don't care if you have to make sandwich spread outta them, I wanna know who they're working for.
- Judge Ducharme: Now, where were we? Something about 'you don't have to keep promises to a man who kills for money?' Well, Miss Reinkauf, this one's gonna be for pleasure.
- Sartain's Henchman: Stop, wait a minute. I'm Deputy Whitney and this is Judge Ducharme and don't come one step...
- Judge Ducharme: [interrupting] And this is Mr. Magnum.
- [aims a gun at them]
- E.L. 'Tenspeed' Turner: This ain't no judge, that's Alice Reinkauf.
- Sartain's Henchman: What do you mean, she's no judge? No, y-y-you deputized me and everything.
- Young Man: Yeah, well, it eh, hasn't exactly been my day, either.