- Michael Kelso: Alright, look. Jackie, here's the deal. You cheated on me.
- Jackie Burkhart: You used to cheat on me all the time.
- Michael Kelso: Yeah? Well, yeah. But you cheated out of hate, and I cheated out of joy.
- [Eric catches Jackie and Todd kissing]
- Jackie Burkhart: Eric! Did you get a haircut? 'Cause I love it. You look just like Parker Stevenson.
- Eric Forman: Oh, really? 'Cause I told the guy he should.... No! No, no. That's not gonna work, tramp-face. I saw tongue!
- Kitty Forman: Why don't you just put the car in the garage?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: Because if it's in the garage, I can't see it from the dinner table. Kitty, don't give advice on things you know nothing about.
- Kitty Forman: Ok, *I'm* the crazy one.
- [Eric just told Steven Jackie kissed Todd]
- Steven Hyde: We hold information that could crush the very heart and soul of one of our best friends. I live for days like this!
- [Jackie doesn't want Eric to tell Kelso about her kissing Todd]
- Eric Forman: You can buy two guaranteed hours of silence by carving this wheel of cheddar into a handsome likeness of me. And... go!
- Jackie Burkhart: I was waiting outside for Michael to pick me up, but the idiot never showed.
- Todd: That's the third time this week. Three strikes and he's out according to the rules of baseball... and love.
- Jackie Burkhart: Actually, it's four strikes, if you count the time he showed up late 'cause he had to see how the Jetsons ended.
- Todd: Oh, man. First he goes behind your back and takes that modeling job and now this whole Jetsons thing. No futuristic cartoon could ever keep *me* from you.
- Joanne: I know what I'm talking about! As soon as my ex-husband got a boar he forgot that I existed... So I got even with him by divorcing him and taking away his boat, and I spent a vigorous weekend with the habor master!
- Kitty Forman: I, I... I don't think this is kitchen talk...
- Michael Kelso: Mrs. Foreman, I have a black eye and I need ice!
- Kitty Forman: I'm not doing anything more for men today.
- Reginald "Red" Forman: The birds had a "Crap on My Car" festival; I have to get this off, or the paint will oxidize - OXIDIZE!
- Kitty Forman: Why don't you just park the car in the garage?
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [Incredulously] Kitty, if I park the car in the garage, I can't see it from the kitchen table! Don't make suggestions about things you don't understand.