That '70s Show (TV Series)

Kitty's Birthday (That's Today?!) (2001)

Kurtwood Smith: Red Forman

Photos 

Quotes 

• Reginald "Red" Forman : [looking out at the squaredance floor]  It looks like "Hee-Haw" threw up in here.

• Reginald "Red" Forman , Eric Forman : [Opening the bedroom door and coming in with presents and balloons]  Happy Birthday!

  Kitty Forman : Oh, you remembered?

  Reginald "Red" Forman : Well, of course we remembered, honey. We just figured that we wait 'til there were only fifteen minutes left in the day and you were good and mad, and then we sneak up here and surprise the hell out of you!

  Kitty Forman : Wow, what a good plan, 'cause I was awfully mad.

  Reginald "Red" Forman : Yeah, we really had you going!

  Eric Forman : Here, Mom, open this one first. It's from me.

  [Gives her the present] 

  Kitty Forman : Well, thank you, honey.

  [Unwraps the first present] 

  Kitty Forman : Oh. A map of Wisconsin. Oh, well, thank you.

  Eric Forman : And Mom, I got you these balloons, too.

  [Gives her the balloons] 

  Kitty Forman : [Reading the slogan on the balloons]  "Knock Out the Knock-Knocks at Schiffy's Gas-N-Go". Huh.

  Reginald "Red" Forman : Wait, Kitty, there's more!

  [Gives her his present] 

  Kitty Forman : [Unwraps the second present]  A funnel.

  Reginald "Red" Forman : 'Cause I know how much you like to pour things!

  Kitty Forman : Well, um, either these gifts are really thoughtful, or *you bought a bunch of crap at the gas station*!

  Reginald "Red" Forman : What?

  Kitty Forman : Oh, admit it, Red Forman. You forgot my birthday!

  Eric Forman : Quick, Dad, give her the lighter!

  Reginald "Red" Forman : Look, Kitty, I'm sorry. But it's just... Well, marking the calendar is *your* responsibility!

  [Kitty looks shocked and mortified at what he just said] 

  Eric Forman : Dad! No!

• Reginald "Red" Forman : [greeting Kitty after his night on the sofa]  'Morning, Kitty! So, what's for breakfast?

  Kitty Forman : [still furious from the night before]  A funnel!

• Eric Forman : Wow, I've never seen Mom this upset! What are we gonna do?

  Reginald "Red" Forman : We're gonna have to do something really big, something she's been asking for for years! The most horrible thing in the world...

  Eric Forman : I'm not gonna do it!

  Reginald "Red" Forman : Oh, you'll do it, and you'll LIKE it!

  [Cut to a square dance]