- [first lines]
- Bo: Ah, California. Look, Abe, beautiful weather, beautiful women, breathtaking scenery, breathtaking women, the lure of the sea, the lure of beautiful women. I say it's time to stop being observers and start being participants.
- Lt. Col. Tom Barker: They look harmless, but try to remember they come from an advanced civilization. They're capable of untold horrors. Right, Wilson?
- Lt. Pat Wilson: That's right! Now remember, whatever you do don't damage them. We prefer to do our own dissections.
- Lt. Col. Tom Barker: Oh, yes, one other thing to remember - when they're not chasing mindless bimbos, they're stuffing their faces. You know, when one of them gets kind of turned on, the other one emits smoke.
- Abe: You know, you girls are turning sibling rivalry into an Olympic event.
- Tracey: Well, Daddy always liked her best.
- Lacey: No way. Daddy bought you bigger guns.
- Bo: A true test of love.
- Tracey: Well, Daddy got you karate lessons.
- Lacey: Well, Daddy took you boar hunting.
- Tracey: Daddy paid for your tattoos.
- Abe: We're dead meat.
- Bo: Look on the bright side.
- Abe: Oh, there's a bright side?
- Bo: We could have been caught by Daddy.
- Tracey: Gag her.
- [tasting the birthday cake Bo made for Abe]
- Quincy Sullivan: Chicken liver and butterscotch... that's downright other worldly.
- [last lines]
- Abe: Hey, where are we going?
- Bo: Well, Lounge Lizard Magazine recommends Rocco's Tacos. It's about half a mile down the road. It's the place where the women are topless and the chili bowls bottomless.
- Abe: Are you ever going to learn?
- Bo: Ariba Ariba!
- Abe: I guess not.
- Bo, Abe: [singing] La Cucaracha! La Cucaracha!