Christopher Titus: Christopher Titus

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Christopher Titus : Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people do too. Oh, we made the cover. But any press is good press. Right ? As long as they spell your name right. So now the whole world is gonna read about... Tatus High Performance. Tatus. Great.

• [Dave and Tommy have dismantled a car after Titus takes credit for building it himself] 

  Christopher Titus : Dave, help me.

  Dave Scouvel : What?

  Christopher Titus : Dave, I need your help.

  Dave Scouvel : Well, that's better. No! Not until I get a compliment.

  Christopher Titus : What?

  Dave Scouvel : A compliment. Yeah, and not a fake compliment, like "Dave, shut up. You're stupid." A real compliment.

  Christopher Titus : Fine. You how I taught you how to paint?

  Dave Scouvel : Yeah.

  Christopher Titus : Yeah, well it took me five years to shoot my first decent car, and you picked it up in a week. Got it like *that*, man. You fit in like *that*. I mean, you don't even understand pie.

  Dave Scouvel : Pi is 3.14567, blah blah blah.

  Christopher Titus : I mean blueberry pie.

  Dave Scouvel : Well, how do they get the juice inside the crust?

  Christopher Titus : They have a magic juice machine.

  Dave Scouvel : I knew it!

  Christopher Titus : See, but when it comes to painting, you're like some sick genius. And I wish I had that. I mean about anything.

  Dave Scouvel : Wow, Titus. That was nice. Now you get to say it in front of Chad.

• [first lines] 

  Christopher Titus : Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people, want to be accepted. It's one of the few things we have in common. My whole life, all I ever wanted was my dad to pat me on the top of the head and go, "Who's a good boy ? Who's a good boy ?" But, instead, all he ever did was wipe peanut butter on the end of my nose and laugh while I tried to lick it off.