- Marci: Oh, hey, who's that?
- Ashley Burke: Carrie? Oh, she's just...
- Mary-Kate Burke: Another one of dad's girlfriends!
- Marci: Oh... your dad has other girlfriends?
- Ashley Burke: Yeah, but don't worry. I think he likes you the best.
- [trying to drive Marci away]
- Marci: So... your sister's not feelin' too well, huh?
- Mary-Kate Burke: Who cares? Ashley's always sick. She loves the attention. She's dad's favorite, you know?
- Marci: Oh, I bet that's not true.
- Mary-Kate Burke: Oh, believe me! He's always running out to get stuff for her. But he won't even pick me up a pack of cigarettes. You don't have a smoke on you, do you?
- Marci: Me... uh... no, I don't. I don't smoke. And I don't think that you should either.
- Mary-Kate Burke: Tell me about it. I'm thinking of getting the patch.
- Kevin Burke: Where are you going?
- Marci: Home. Just met Carrie.
- Kevin Burke: Oh, Carrie's here?
- Marci: Yeah, she's putting the girls to bed!
- Kevin Burke: Did she say something to offend you?
- Marci: What offends me is that you never mentioned her.
- Kevin Burke: Well, there's not much to tell. I needed someone, I took out an ad and Carrie. I mean it was just a coincidence that she's a student of mine.
- Marci: She's your student?
- Kevin Burke: Yeah, and whenever she's too busy with her studies I call Mrs. Baker.
- Marci: Who's Mrs. Baker?
- Kevin Burke: My, my neighbor from across the street. Of course, she 72, so she's not as much fun as Carrie, but she still gets the job done.
- Marci: [Gaping] Oh! This is the most depraved thing I've ever heard.
- Kevin Burke: I'm sorry, what?
- Marci: Well, it's bad enough you're juggling more than on woman, but one of your students and a senior citizen it like... Oh, oh, oh! I hope you choke on that dinner, which by the way, I did not make.
- [goes to leave]
- Kevin Burke: What are you talking about? Carrie is the girls' babysitter.
- Marci: She's a babysitter? Your daughter told me she was one of your girlfriends.
- Kevin Burke: Which daughter?
- Marci: I don't know. The one who smokes.
- Kevin Burke: [Looking very confused] Ok, apparantly my daughters are up to something. I have a feeling it's about me dating. Why don't you stay here? Uh, I'll be right back.
- Marci: I made part of it.
- Kevin Burke: Where are you going?
- Marci: Home, just met Carrie.
- Kevin Burke: Oh, Carrie's here?
- Marci: Yeah, she's putting the girls to bed!
- Kevin Burke: Did she say something to offend you?
- Marci: What offends me is that you never mentioned her.
- Kevin Burke: Well, there's not much to tell. I needed someone, Carrie was there, so I hired her. I mean it's just a coincidence that she's a student of mine.
- Marci: She's your student?
- Marci: Yeah, and whenever she's busy with her studies, I call Mrs. Baker.
- Marci: Who's Mrs. Baker?
- Marci: My - My neighbor. Of course she's 72, so she's not as fun as Carrie but she still gets the job done.
- Marci: [Gaping] Oh, this is the most depraved thing I ever heard!
- Kevin Burke: I'm sorry, what?
- Marci: Well, it's bad enough that you're juggling more than one woman, but one of your students and a senior citizen. It's like uh, uh, uh! I hope you choke on that dinner, which by the way I did not make.
- Kevin Burke: What are you talking about? Carrie's the girls' babysittter.
- Marci: She's their babysitter? You're daughter told me she was one of your girlfriends.
- Kevin Burke: Which daughter?
- Marci: I don't know, the one that smokes.
- Kevin Burke: [Looking confused] Ok, apparantly my daughters are up to something. I have a feeling it's about me dating. Here, why don't sit down.
- [Marci sits on the couch]
- Kevin Burke: Uh, I'll be right back.
- Marci: I made part of it.
- Carrie: Oh, hi, you just missed Marci.
- Ashley Burke: Yeah, she left in kind of a hurry.
- Kevin Burke: Actually, she's still downstairs.
- Ashley Burke: Uh-oh.
- Mary-Kate Burke: I think I'm catching what Ashley's got.
- Carrie: What's going on?
- Kevin Burke: Well, first of all, Ashley's not sick and these two told Marci that you were my girlfriend.
- Carrie: What? Why would you do that?
- Ashley Burke: Well, we were trying to break Dad and Marci up.
- Mary-Kate Burke: Yeah, Carrie, we don't want to lose you.
- Kevin Burke: Why would you lose Carrie?
- Mary-Kate Burke: Because she said if things kept with between you and Marci, she'd be out of a job.
- Carrie: Well, that was a joke. I didn't mean that.
- Ashley Burke: Well, we thought you did and we liked the way things are.
- Mary-Kate Burke: Yeah, you're the best babysitter we've ever had.
- Ashley Burke: You're like family.
- Carrie: So you would lie to that poor woman just to keep me around? That is so sweet.
- [sobers after Kevin gives her a look]
- Carrie: I mean it's wrong. Of course. But it's still very sweet. I ...
- Kevin Burke: Carrie?
- Carrie: Oh, why don't I give you guys some privacy. Oh!
- Carrie: Wow, Kevin's really hitting it off with Marci.
- [jokingly]
- Carrie: If this keeps up I might be out of a job!
- [leaves the room]
- Mary-Kate Burke: [thinks Carrie is serious about losing her babysitting job] We can't lose Carrie! She's like having a big sister!
- Brian: And she's real easy on the eyes, too!
- Mary-Kate Burke: We're obviously dealing with a very desperate woman.
- Ashley Burke: We need a plan so devious, so cunning, that she'll never bother us again.
- Mary-Kate Burke: What are you thinking?
- Ashley Burke: I got nothing. I just know that's what we need.