Mr. Dunn: [to the blonde student in the short dress] Oh, Patty, I suggest you start paying attention in my class. Your paper was not up to Priddy High standards.
[she pays no heed, goes her way]
Mr. Dunn: Oh, and your dress is too short.
[he walks on]
Mr. Dunn: Ah, Tiffany, my favorite student.
Tiffany Malloy: [equally short dress, smiling proudly] Thank you.
Mr. Dunn: No, thank you. Your paper was A+ as usual. And that dress looks very beautiful on you.
[obviously smitten]
Tiffany Malloy: [breathy voice] Thank you, Mr. Dunn.
Mr. Dunn: Eugene.
[he goes off]
Patty McGurk: [coming up to Tiffany] Hi, Miss Perfect.
Tiffany Malloy: [preening, giggling] I'm not perfect, but... Thank you.
Patty McGurk: That wasn't a compliment. I was being sarcastic.
Tiffany Malloy: Oh? I was being falsely humble, so we're even.
[laughs]
Tiffany Malloy: I'm witty too.
[laughs]
Tiffany Malloy: Why can't we get along? I'm an A student, the teachers are just crazy about me, I'm pretty, I'm kind, I'm generous, I'm humble, I mean, if I weren't me, I'd wanna be my best friend so that I could be around me as much as possible.
[Barry kisses her hand, and Amber holds the other one obsequiously]
Patty McGurk: [disdainful] Do you know what I hate about you the most?
Tiffany Malloy: No.
Patty McGurk: Well, think.
Tiffany Malloy: Well, I think I know, but it wouldn't really be nice to say.
Patty McGurk: Go ahead.
Tiffany Malloy: Well, okay. I think it's probably because I'm smart and wonderful and have unlimited potential, whereas the best you can hope for is becoming a waitress at Denny's.
Patty McGurk: Gee, before it was just a blind, irrational hatred. Probably would have blown away by the end of the day. Now, I hate you forever.
Tiffany Malloy: Uh. Good thing I held back.
Patty McGurk: [walks off] You'd better watch your back, Malloy.
[bumps aggressively against her, then brushes contemptuously past Ryan]
Ryan Malloy: [thrilled] Hah. Most I got in three years of high school.
[rushes hopelessly after her]