- Wallace Fennel: That might play with the masses, but underneath that angry young woman shell, there's a slightly less angry young woman who's just dying to bake me something. You're a marshmallow, Veronica Mars. A twinkie!
- Wallace Fennel: Girl, you should hear what people say about you.
- Veronica Mars: So then what are you doing sitting here?
- Wallace Fennel: You sat next to me.
- Veronica Mars: This is my table.
- Wallace Fennel: And what a fine table it is. What do you suppose this is made of?
- [knocks table]
- Wallace Fennel: Oak?
- Weevil: Sister, the only time I care what a woman has to say is when she's riding my big old hog. But even then, it's not so much words - just a bunch of 'oohs' and 'aahs,' you know?
- Veronica Mars: So it's big, huh?
- Weevil: Legendary.
- Veronica Mars: Well, let's see it. I mean, if it's as big as you say, I'll be your girlfriend.
- [gasps]
- Veronica Mars: We could go to prom together! What? What seems to be the problem? I'm on a schedule here, vato.
- Felix Toombs: Dude, Weevil, don't let blondie talk to you like that.
- Veronica Mars: Sounds like your buddy here wants to see it, too.
- Felix Toombs: Oh hell, I'll show you mine!
- Logan: Hey, Veronica Mars... Do you know what your little joke cost me?
- Veronica Mars: Well, I'm pretty sure you won't be getting your bong back.
- Logan: Wrong answer. Would you care to guess again?
- Veronica Mars: Clearly your sense of humour.
- Logan: Nope. You're usually so good at pop quizzes. No, the correct answer is my car. That's right. My Daddy took my T-Bird away. And you know what I won't be having. Fun, fun, fun.
- Veronica Mars: [voiceover] This is my school. If you go here, your parents are either millionaires, or your parents work for millionaires. Neptune, California, a town without a middle class. If you're in the second group, you get a job. Fast food, movie theaters, mini marts. Or you could be me. My after school job means tailing philandering spouses or investigating false injury claims.
- Veronica Mars: [to Wallace] Congratulations sport. In your short time here, you already managed to piss off the motorcycle gang and the local sheriff.
- Mrs. White: [to a sleeping Veronica] Congratulations, you're my volunteer. Pope. An Essay on Man. Epistle I.
- Veronica Mars: Hope springs eternal in the human breast; Man never Is, but always to be blest: the soul, uneasy and confin'd from home, rests and expatiates in a life to come.
- Mrs. White: And what do you suppose Pope meant by that?
- Veronica Mars: Life's a bitch until you die.
- Cliff McCormack: I heard your dad's out tracking down bail jumpers half the time and yet somehow all the cases that come in here still get handled. How is that?
- Veronica Mars: We're efficient.
- Veronica Mars: [voiceover] Quite a reputation I've got, huh? You wanna know how I lost my virginity? So do I.
- Logan: Hey, Ronnie. Hey, we've decided that we'd rather surf than study today. You wanna come with? Duncan will promise to take his shirt off. Does that sweeten the pot? Does that make you horny? Hey, D.K., flex for your ex.
- Duncan Kane: Shut up, Logan.
- Veronica Mars: I used to think I knew what tore our family apart. Now I'm sure I don't. But I promise this: I will find out what really happened, and I will bring this family back together again. I'm sorry, is that mushy? Well, you know what they say. Veronica Mars, she's a marshmallow.
- Veronica Mars: [voiceover] Let's not forget Logan Echolls. His dad makes twenty million a picture. You probably own his action figure. Every school has an obligatory psychotic jackass. He's ours.
- Keith Mars: I nailed our bail jumper one hundred yards from Mexico... Twenty five hundred bucks. No sack dinners tonight. Tonight we eat, like the lower middle class to which we aspire. Fire up the 'bachie.
- Sheriff Don Lamb: I'll tell you what Veronica Mars, why don't you go see the wizard? Ask for a little backbone.
- Keith Mars: You know what, this is important. You remember this: I used to be cool.
- Veronica Mars: When?
- Keith Mars: '77. Trans-Am, Blue Oyster Cult in the 8-track, a foxy stacked blonde riding shotgun, racing for pink slips. Aw, wait a minute, I'm thinking of a Springsteen song. Scratch everything, I was never cool.
- Veronica Mars: I don't know which bothers me more, "foxy" or "stacked"...
- Weevil: All right, all right, all right. Felix, we get it. You're a badass, okay? But for once, don't be stupid.
- Felix Toombs: Hey, yo, is this O-Town any good? I mean my little sister likes it, but you know she likes ponies and juice boxes too.
- Wallace Fennel: I suddenly feel like I'm in a scene from The Outsiders.
- Veronica Mars: Be cool, Sodapop.
- Veronica Mars: God, Lilly, I see the Prozac's working.
- Lilly Kane: High on life, Veronica Mars. I've got a secret. A good one.
- Sheriff Don Lamb: I've got not a shred of evidence to work with here but that really doesn't matter to your family, now does it?