The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)

Election (1994)

Emma Chambers: Alice Tinker

Quotes 

• [post credits] 

  Geraldine Granger : Right, just a short one, OK?

  Alice Tinker : Right, yeah.

  Geraldine Granger : Two nuns in a bath. One says to the other, "Where's the soap?" and the other one says, "Yes, it does rather."

  Alice Tinker : Oh.

  [laughing] 

  Alice Tinker : Yes.

  Geraldine Granger : Do you know, Alice, I'm rather surprised you got that one.

  Alice Tinker : Oh yes, very funny that.

  Geraldine Granger : Why is it funny, Alice?

  Alice Tinker : Why? Well, one of the nuns is deaf, isn't she, so the other one says, "Where's the soap?", the deaf one mishears her, thinks she said, "It makes the water dirty" or something like that, the other one says, "Yes, it does rather, doesn't it." That's right, isn't it?

  Geraldine Granger : Yes, yes! Yeah, that's right. I think you should tell that one to your Gran.

  Alice Tinker : Yes. I should, she'd love it.

  Geraldine Granger : Yeah.

• Alice Tinker : Feeling better, Vicar?

  Geraldine Granger : Not really, no.

  Alice Tinker : Aww.

  Geraldine Granger : I had a terrible night - my bottom had a worse one. Those chocolate sandwiches. That Cropley woman really is the Queen of Cordon Bleurgh!