The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)

Happy New Year (2005)

James Fleet: Hugo Horton

Quotes 

• [Alice and Hugo arrive at the vicarage, the latter wearing a kilt] 

  Alice Horton : Sorry the dating was a total disaster. So we've come up with an alternative present.

  Geraldine Granger : What, we're going to dance reels, are we?

  [laughs] 

  Hugo Horton : [Chuckles]  No.

  Alice Horton : No. We thought you might like a baby. And since you can't get a man to give you one, we thought maybe Hugo could help you out.

  [Geraldine gapes] 

  Alice Horton : he's already given me eight children.

  Hugo Horton : Ten.

  Alice Horton : Ten children. So I can guarantee he is top quality stuff.

  Geraldine Granger : [Uncertainly]  Right.

  Alice Horton : Although obviously, there is nothing sexual about it. Hugo doesn't find you remotely attractive.

  Geraldine Granger : Thanks, that's... nice to know.

• Alice Horton : Any ideas on what she might like?

  Owen Newitt : Mel Gibson.

  Alice Horton : Oh.

  David Horton : You think you can buy Mel Gibson?

  Jim Trott : No no no no, but you might be able to rent him for an hour or two.

  Frank Pickle : Of course, he's very keen on the church. He made that film about Jesus.

  Hugo Horton : Oh, 'Passion of the Christ'.

  Owen Newitt : That film made me very angry.

  Hugo Horton : Me too.

  Owen Newitt : An 18-certificate film with the word, "Passion" in the title, and not one scene of gratuitous sex.