WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)

Johnny Comes Back (1979)

Gordon Jump: Arthur Carlson

Quotes 

• Andy Travis : [to Doug, who he just fired for payola, including accepting cocaine]  I want you out of here, not in five minutes, I want you out of here right now.

  Doug Winner : [turning to Mr. Carlson]  Mr. Carlson...

  Arthur Carlson : [gently but firmly]  I think you'd better go, son.

  Doug Winner : [turning to leave]  Okay. Sure. Sure. Hey, you know something? You guys are nothing but a bunch of small-timers anyway!

  Andy Travis : [knocking the doorknob out of Doug's hand, forcing the door closed, then holding his hand out]  Where's the coke?

  Doug Winner : I don't know. I guess Carlson puts it on his feet.

  Arthur Carlson : [Doug leaves and Andy turns to Mr. Carlson, who is stunned and begins beating the foot he put the powder on on the floor frantically]  Good heavens! I've lost all the feeling in my left foot!

  Andy Travis : No, you're gonna be all right.

  Arthur Carlson : For the love of Pete, Andy, I'm hooked!

  Andy Travis : No, you're gonna be fine!

  Arthur Carlson : [beating frantically on his foot with his shoe]  I've got a monkey on my foot!

• Arthur Carlson : [seeing the bag of cocaine in the control booth]  What's that?

  Doug Winner : [Johnny turns to Doug, seeing if he'll tell the truth]  *You* tell him. You're dying to.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : It's, uh, foot powder, Mr. Carlson.

  Arthur Carlson : [taking the bag]  No kidding. Let me see it. Foot powder, huh? Well, there's not much here.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : It's, uh, *really* potent. A little goes a long way. You can't get this stuff in the stores.

  Arthur Carlson : [removing his shoe]  Is that right? Hey, I got this problem. I've been buying these Odor-Eaters, they're supposed to last about three months. These suckers turn on me 'bout fifteen days. Can I borrow some of this?

  Doug Winner : To put on your feet?

  Arthur Carlson : If you don't mind.

  Dr. Johnny Fever : [encouragingly]  Sure, go ahead. Use whatever you need. It's okay with you, Dougy?

  Doug Winner : [hesitantly]  Wh... Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

  Arthur Carlson : [getting up to leave with the bag of coke]  Thanks, I appreciate that. Do you really think this stuff'll work?

  Dr. Johnny Fever : Oh, sure. Actually, this is where the concept of "happy feet" first originated.

  Doug Winner : [angrily after Mr. Carlson has left the booth]  That was six hundred dollars worth of coke!

  Dr. Johnny Fever : [in mock sympathy]  Tough luck!

  Doug Winner : [nervously]  Weh... what do you think he'll do with it?

  Dr. Johnny Fever : [smiling]  Carlson's no fool man! He's gonna put it on his feet!

• Andy Travis : [to Doug who on his own volition brings up the issue of a bag of coke, which Doug is trying to claim is Johnny's]  You're a liar.

  Arthur Carlson : Oh, come on, now ease up, Travis. I have a little Coke every now and then.

• Andy Travis : I think we're going to have to fire Doug Winner.

  Arthur Carlson : How come?

  Andy Travis : Well, sir, look you know I, uh, let the jocks program some of their own stuff.

  Arthur Carlson : Yeah.

  Andy Travis : Well, two days ago, I told Doug that he seemed to be giving a couple of songs too much play. He said fine, but he didn't stop.

  Arthur Carlson : You don't think the kid's on the take, do you?

  Andy Travis : I'm pretty sure. I made a couple of calls, and it checks out.

• Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson : I've got a monkey on my foot !