WKRP in Cincinnati (TV Series)
Rumors (1981)
Howard Hesseman: Dr. Johnny Fever
Photos
Quotes
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Andy Travis : You're paranoid.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Hey Travis...
Andy Travis : What?
Dr. Johnny Fever : ...when everybody is out to get you, paranoid is just good thinking.
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Dr. Johnny Fever : I let you stay at my place.
Herb Tarlek : Yeah...?
Dr. Johnny Fever : And... and you said if, uh, you could ever return the favor... you would.
Herb Tarlek : I was lying.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Aren't you ashamed having the ethics of a fungus?
Herb Tarlek : Nope.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Herb, I'm desperate. I need a place to stay.
Bailey Quarters : [passing by] Oh? Oh, you can stay at my place.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Really?
Bailey Quarters : Sure.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Bailey, you saved my life! Bless your heart!
Bailey Quarters : Well, it's a messy business, but...
[searches in her handbag]
Bailey Quarters : somebody's gotta do it. Here's my key.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Are you serious?
Bailey Quarters : Mm-hmm.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Okay, this is great! I'm gonna go get my stuff, and I'll see you when you get home. And listen, Bailey, don't worry, I can be very good.
Bailey Quarters : I'm looking forward to it.
[he hurries off]
Les Nessman : Where are you going?
Bailey Quarters : What?
Les Nessman : I didn't know you were going out of town.
Bailey Quarters : I'm not.
Les Nessman : What?
Bailey Quarters : What what?
Herb Tarlek : Well...?
Bailey Quarters : Well what?
Herb Tarlek : You're a woman, he's a man.
Bailey Quarters : Don't be an animal, Herb.
Herb Tarlek : I call 'em as I see 'em.
Bailey Quarters : You know what? I can't believe you guys!
Les Nessman : Well, I'm shocked!
Bailey Quarters : I'm amazed.
Herb Tarlek : I'm stunned.
Arthur Carlson : Well, I guess everything's normal here.
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Bailey Quarters : If that's what they think is going on, if they want to indulge in their petty little rumors, just let them. Let's give them their money's worth!
Dr. Johnny Fever : Excuse the drool here, Bailey, I'm with you, I really am.
Bailey Quarters : Tomorrow at the office...
Dr. Johnny Fever : Uh-huh?
Bailey Quarters : ...I'll tell them that something really did go on here tonight.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Good, that's very good. Why, why be punished for something that we haven't even done yet?
[chuckles]
Bailey Quarters : Let's give them exactly what they want.
Dr. Johnny Fever : [eagerly] What?
Bailey Quarters : I'm gonna do it too.
Dr. Johnny Fever : Me too.
[chuckles]
Bailey Quarters : Goodnight.
[goes off, leaving him standing there]
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Andy Travis : [in his office] Hey, John, what are you doing here?
Dr. Johnny Fever : I think you know.
Andy Travis : No, I don't.
Dr. Johnny Fever : I'm sure you do. Okay? And it better stop.
Andy Travis : What?
Dr. Johnny Fever : All these rumors about Bailey, pal. Don't think she hasn't heard them. I mean, she is a very nice person, man. She's like a little flower, you know. She generously offers her hospitality to someone, and suddenly, she's a brazen hussy.
Andy Travis : Look, no one ever called her that.
Dr. Johnny Fever : That's not the point. The point is, she's been hurt, and why?
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Bailey Quarters : [entering, on the warpath] That's it, Andy! I was mad before, really mad. But I just heard that the only reason you gave me Herb's business show is because Les wouldn't do it.
[hands on her hips]
Bailey Quarters : Is that true?
Andy Travis : Uh, well, yeah.
Bailey Quarters : Well, thank you very much, because I'm gonna go ahead and do it.
[voice breaking:]
Bailey Quarters : I'll show you guys.
[walks out, encounters Mr. Carlson]
Arthur Carlson : [under mistaken impression as always] Ah, Bailey! Jennifer just told me about your situation. Gee, I feel badly about it.
Bailey Quarters : Uh, thank you, Mr. Carlson.
Arthur Carlson : No, it's unfair.
Bailey Quarters : Oh, it's all right. Because I like doing what I do.
[Mr. Carlson is speechless]
Bailey Quarters : I get off on it. Les wouldn't do it, but if Les won't do it, I'll do it, right, John?
Dr. Johnny Fever : Right. She likes it.
Arthur Carlson : [glowers at Johnny] You swine.
Bailey Quarters : No, it's fun. I don't have to tell you that, Mr. Carlson.
[chuckles]
Arthur Carlson : Oh, well... No. It's fun. Yes, I...
Bailey Quarters : I live for the opportunity. Thank you.
[leaves]