- Barnaby West: Smells good.
- Charlie Wooster: Get your nose out of there.
- Barnaby West: I was just sniffing.
- Charlie Wooster: Well, do your sniffing some place else.
- Charlie Wooster: Why would he want to stay on the wagon train after he's married? Answer me that.
- Barnaby West: Married?
- Duke Shannon: Chris?
- Bill Hawks: When?
- Barnaby West: You mean to Miss Kate?
- Barnaby West: How come he kissed her?
- Duke Shannon: Well you see... What I mean... There's a difference and wanting to be friendly with a woman sometimes and wanting to marry her and have her around all the time. That's right, Bill?
- Bill Hawks: Gee, Duke. I don't know.
- Duke Shannon: Yeah.
- Barnaby West: It just seems to me seeing and kissing a girl is about the same as courting, and courting is what you do when you want to get married.
- Bill Hawks: You know, Duke, Barnaby is right.
- Duke Shannon: Well, sometimes, Barnaby. Maybe, we just better forget it.
- Duke Shannon: We can make it through.
- Bill Hawks: Well, good, maybe we can get back to camp and can get a good night's sleep before it it gets daylight.
- Duke Shannon: Just as soon as we check on that campsite over there.
- Bill Hawks: I didn't see any campfire.
- Duke Shannon: It's just over the rise.
- Bill Hawks: You see it before?
- Duke Shannon: No.
- Bill Hawks: Well, how do you know it's there then?
- Duke Shannon: Just talented, I guess.
- Bill Hawks: You know, Duke, you ought to try scouting some time.
- Duke Shannon: I'll give it some thought.
- [Duke decides to own up]
- Duke Shannon: The breeze shifted a while ago, and I smelt the smoke.
- Christopher Hale: Kate, you are an enigma.
- Kate Crawley: Now, hold it, friend. Hold it. I've been called a lot of things in my life, but never an e-?
- Christopher Hale: Enigma.
- Kate Crawley: Is that good or bad?
- Christopher Hale: A puzzle. That's what you are, you're a puzzle.
- Kate Crawley: Oh, no, Chris. Not to you. To just about everyone else in this world. But not to you. You're the only one who really knows me.
- Christopher Hale: Do I, Kate?
- Kate Crawley: Are you serious? For Pete's sake, after four years of holding hands, I can't see what's a mystery to you.
- Bill Hawks: Then she comes along like she's going to pat a little schoolboy on the top of the head, smiles and says: Bill, if you're ever in trouble, let me know and I'll get you out of it. And then to make matters worse, old man Troy almost lost his store-bought teeth laughing at the way she showed me up.
- Duke Shannon: That's kinda funny.
- Bill Hawks: You think that's funny, huh?
- Duke Shannon: Yeah.
- Charlie Wooster: When she starts telling you how to do your job, you won't think it's funny.
- Duke Shannon: How can she get in my way scouting the trail?
- Charlie Wooster: You give her one more week on the train, she'll be running the whole shebang. You want a bet?
- Duke Shannon: You just name it.
- Stump Beasley: It don't bother me at all that you wear those old pants all the time and got callouses on your hands. 'Cos the work you do takes a real woman to do. My kind of woman.
- Kate Crawley: Now, I'll thank you to keep them fancy words to yourself. I told you before and I aint interested. And I'm telling you again.
- Stump Beasley: I aint in no hurry. I'll just tag along and wait for you to figure it out for yourself.
- Kate Crawley: Figure what out?
- Stump Beasley: That I'm probably the only man in the whole world who'll ever really ask you to marry him.
- Kate Crawley: What?
- Stump Beasley: Most fellas like their women all soft and sweet smelling. But not me.
- Kate Crawley: Why you...
- Stump Beasley: I'll take you for a partner, any day, any time.
- Duke Shannon: [Kate breaks up the fight with her whip] Kate.
- Kate Crawley: Good thing I happened along when I did.
- Duke Shannon: What'd you interfere for?
- Kate Crawley: Looked like the two of them were going to jump you.
- Duke Shannon: Just what made you think that would be a problem?
- Kate Crawley: Well, I was only trying to help.
- Duke Shannon: I didn't need any help.
- Kate Crawley: Well, pardon me, huh. Go ahead fellas, he's all yours.
- Jessup Harmon: Don't reckon it'd be any fun now.
- Pop Harmon: Heck, no. It's no fun fighting a fella who lets a female help him.
- Duke Shannon: I didn't ask her to.
- Jessup Harmon: You come back some time without your woman. Maybe we'll oblige you.
- Pop Harmon: Come along, son.
- Duke Shannon: But, well, but, wait, ah.
- Charlie Wooster: Looks like a fire all right.
- Bill Hawks: What'd you think it was? A smoke signal?
- Barnaby West: Wasn't Mr Chris riding right into it?
- Duke Shannon: Not alone he isn't.
- Kate Crawley: Otis, keep that team moving.
- Otis: We aint gonna make it, Kate.
- Kate Crawley: We won't if you keep stopping to talk about it. Now, go on.
- Stump Beasley: No, sir. I aint going to leave you here alone, Kate. Someone's gonna teach you, you can't put out a forest fire with a bull whip.
- Kate Crawley: Chris, don't spoof me. Tell me the truth. Do I look as ridiculous as I feel?
- Christopher Hale: You look lovely, Kate. I really mean it, lovely.
- Kate Crawley: As long as you think so.
- Christopher Hale: Come on, I'll introduce you to the field of feminine combat. Let's go and give the ladies a treat.
- Christopher Hale: Mess? Oh, no. Not at all. We'll just have to keep our eyes open for the next hundred miles expecting retaliation attack every foot of the way, that's all.
- Kate Crawley: An Indian attack?
- Christopher Hale: That's the way they usually do it. Why, Kate, why didn't you let me handle it? Why couldn't you be a lady for ten more minutes.
- Kate Crawley: Because I'm not a lady. And I never was. And you had no right to make me act like one. Even Stump Beasley was willing to take me as I am. Was, ohh. Am, ohh.
- Kate Crawley: [Chris Hale is sleeping in his hammock] Rise and shine, sun's up, wagonmaster
- [She tips him out]
- Kate Crawley: Look at him standing there in your longjohns with his eyes bugging out and his mouth open. Now he don't look much like a wagonmaster to me.
- Christopher Hale: Kate Crawley.
- Kate Crawley: Is this the best you can do when an old friend comes to see you. Looks like I'm going to have to show you how an old friend should be greeted
- [she gives him a smacking kiss]
- Kate Crawley: . Let that be a lesson to you.
- Christopher Hale: [He yanks her into a firm hold, tips her and gives her a much longer smacking kiss] Let that be a lesson to you. And any of the rest of you want to take notes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll put my pants on.
- Charlie Wooster: No fool like an old fool.
- Duke Shannon: You know, shave, take a bath.
- Stump Beasley: A bath? Now, what good would that do?
- Duke Shannon: You can't expect to get within three feet of her, can you, when you keep reminding her of an old billy goat.
- Stump Beasley: Did Kate say that?
- Duke Shannon: The point is you haven't got much of a chance with Kate when you're competing with a man who takes baths, regular.
- Stump Beasley: The wagonmaster, he does that?
- Duke Shannon: Like clockwork. Sometimes every day.
- Stump Beasley: Ohh?
- Duke Shannon: Yep. How about it, Stump? I'll loan you my razor, clean clothes. I even got some soap.
- Stump Beasley: Soap? No, sir. No, sir. I aint going to do it. I told Kate I was willing to take her right the way she was. She ought to be willing to take me the way I am. No soap.
- Duke Shannon: Is that final?
- Stump Beasley: That's final. F-I-N-E-L.