- Leo McGarry: The President's personal aide. They're looking at a kid. You have any problem with a young black man waiting on the President?
- Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: I'm an old black man and I wait on the President.
- Leo McGarry: The kid's got to carry his bags and...
- Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: You going to pay him a decent wage?
- Leo McGarry: Yeah.
- Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: You going to treat him with respect in the workplace?
- Leo McGarry: Yeah.
- Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: Then why the hell should I care?
- Leo McGarry: That's what I thought.
- Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: I got some real honest-to-god battles to fight, Leo. I don't have time for the cosmetic ones.
- Josh Lyman: You know what, C.J.? I really think I'm the best judge of what I mean, you paranoid Berkeley shiksa feminista... Wow, that was way too far.
- C.J. Cregg: No, no. Well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist, Harvard, fascist, missed-the-dean's-list-two-semesters-in-a-row Yankee jackass.
- Josh Lyman: Feel better getting that off your chest there, C.J.?
- C.J. Cregg: I'm a whole new woman.
- [the President wants a disproportionate response to an American plane being shot down]
- Leo McGarry: And do you think ratcheting up the body count is going to act as a deterrent?
- President Josiah Bartlet: You're damn right I do.
- Leo McGarry: Oh, well then you're just as stupid as these guys who think that capital punishment is going to be a deterrent for drug kingpins. As if drug kingpins didn't live their day-to-day lives under the possibility of execution. And their executions are a lot less dainty than ours, and tend to take place without the bother and expense of due process. So, my friend, if you want to start using American military strength as the arm of the Lord, you can do that. We're the only superpower left. You can conquer the world, like Charlemagne. But you'd better be prepared to kill everyone. And you had better start with me because I will raise up an army against you and *I* will beat you.
- Sam Seaborn: You ever tried to overthrow the government?
- Charlie Young: N-No sir.
- Sam Seaborn: What the hell's been stopping you?
- [during a military situation]
- Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: You know what I was just thinking?
- Officer #1: What's that, Admiral?
- Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: This is different coffee than we usually have.
- Kathy: I'm sorry, Toby's not available to speak on the phone at the moment. No, Sam's not available either.
- [to C. J]
- Kathy: Why is no one available to speak on the phone?
- C.J. Cregg: I don't know, they're all planning my surprise party.
- Josh Lyman: Toby's right - what's the good of being in power if you can't haul your enemies in for questioning?
- C.J. Cregg: Hey do you know anything about a story going around about the Secret Service investigating Bertram Coles for threatening the life of the President?
- Toby Ziegler: No.
- C.J. Cregg: Maggie Greeenwald is quoting you as saying the Secret Service investigates all threats made against the President, and it's White House Policy not to comment.
- Toby Ziegler: Yea.
- C.J. Cregg: Did you say that?
- Toby Ziegler: Yeah. Hey, you don't suppose that's how the story got started, do you? You know what, C.J., you tell Bert Coles that Toby Ziegler said there's a new sheriff in town.
- [first lines]
- [entire conversation takes place in the show's trademark "Walk-and-Talk" style, with Donna and Josh navigating through the West Wing's maze of crowded hallways]
- Donna Moss: [Startling Josh by coming up from behind him, as soon as he walks into the West Wing] C.J.'s looking for you.
- Josh Lyman: Huh?
- Donna Moss: C.J.'s looking for you.
- Josh Lyman: Donna? 'Good morning, Josh,' is a pretty good way to start the day.
- Donna Moss: Good morning.
- Josh Lyman: What's up?
- Donna Moss: [rolling her eyes] C.J.'s looking for you.
- Josh Lyman: Tell her I'm in the office.
- Donna Moss: Josh, I'm saying
- [assuming a more serious facial expression]
- Donna Moss: C.J. is *looking for you.*
- Josh Lyman: What did I do?
- Donna Moss: How would I know?
- Josh Lyman: 'Cause you know everything.
- Donna Moss: I *do* know everything.
- Josh Lyman: [exasperated] Donna...
- Donna Moss: I'm saying you say that now, but anytime I want to make a substantive contribution...
- Josh Lyman: You make plenty of substantive contributions.
- Donna Moss: Like what?
- Josh Lyman: This! *This* could be a substantive contribution.
- Donna Moss: I need a raise.
- Josh Lyman: So do I.
- Donna Moss: You're my boss.
- Josh Lyman: Don... uh... uh... I'm not the one who *pays* you.
- Donna Moss: Yes, but you could recommend that I got a rai...
- Josh Lyman: [cutting Donna off] Donna, she's looking for me. Do ya think this is a really good time to talk about a raise?
- Donna Moss: Hmm, I think this is the best time to talk about a raise.
- Josh Lyman: *Donna,* you're not a very nice person.
- Donna Moss: You gotta get to know me...
- Josh Lyman: [sighs, exasperated] Donna...
- Donna Moss: The best I can cobble together from the small shards of information I've been able to overhear in the restroom and at the danish cart...
- Josh Lyman: Donna...
- Donna Moss: [pausing, taking a breath, leaning close to Josh to whisper] Is it possible there's a situation involving Sam, a woman, and C.J. being denied information about something?
- Josh Lyman: [pausing, staring blankly for a split second] Ok, here's what I'm gonna do...
- [turns toward his office]
- Donna Moss: Hide in your office?
- Josh Lyman: No, I'm not going to 'hide' in my office. No, I'm gonna *go* into my office and devise a strategy. That is what I *do.*
- [pausing]
- Josh Lyman: I'm a professional, not a child.
- Donna Moss: Hmm, that's the spirit.
- Josh Lyman: But if she calls, I'm at the dentist... I'll be back in an hour.
- Donna Moss: Got it.