- Deborah Fiderer: Mr. President?
- President Josiah Bartlet: Mrs. Hottentot?
- Deborah Fiderer: Toby and Charlie...
- President Josiah Bartlet: Yeah, where are they?
- Deborah Fiderer: They're being held.
- President Josiah Bartlet: What do you mean?
- Deborah Fiderer: Toby and Charlie are under arrest. There was an incident at a bar.
- President Josiah Bartlet: They're under arrest?
- Deborah Fiderer: Yes sir
- President Josiah Bartlet: Did they rob the bar?
- Deborah Fiderer: No, sir. A patron was jostling Congresswoman Wyatt and Toby tried to get him to step back, and the man slipped on the floor. And then the man's friend lunged for Toby.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Uh-huh. And what did Charlie do?
- Deborah Fiderer: He hit him.
- Josh Lyman: Sir.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Toby and Charlie were arrested in a bar fight.
- Josh Lyman: Yes, sir, it's not going to be a problem. C.J.'s taking care of it.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Really?
- Josh Lyman: It's going to be a little bit of a problem.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Everytime we come to Southern California we are absolutely the Clampetts.
- President Josiah Bartlet: I'm not an economist, but no, wait, I AM an economist. So, their plan will do what, C.J.?
- Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg: Explode the...
- President Josiah Bartlet: [cutting her off] Explode the deficit. Will it stimulate the economy, Josh?
- Josh Lyman: It'll stimulate the Swiss economy.
- President Josiah Bartlet: Josh gets extra points for being funny and right at the same time.
- [Toby is talking to his pregnant ex-wife on board Air Force One]
- Toby Ziegler: You've got twins in there. You're basically a minivan. How are you fitting into a seat?
- Andrea Wyatt: [turning to the women in the room] Uh-uh. I saw him first, girls.
- President Josiah Bartlet: [on phone] Leo, tell those pouncy little hairdressers I'm gonna shove a loaf of bread up their ass...
- Sam Seaborn: Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States!