- President Josiah 'Jed' Bartlet: I'm in one meeting the whole day. All they did was feed me tea made with Tienchi Ginseng and deer horn glue. You see, it's the thing for the nerve damage. But that meant I had to piss every twelve minutes, which is more of an ordeal than it was when I could stand without assistance. The new kid, Curtis, and I are becoming very close.
- Matthew Santos: I'm not running for Congress again, Josh. Now, you came a long way, I'm sorry about that. But it's just...
- Josh Lyman: I'm not talking about Congress.
- Leo McGarry: I just looked at the tape.
- Josh Lyman: Vinick's announcement? Makes you want to cry like a little girl, doesn't it?
- Leo McGarry: It's a tough primary for him. I wouldn't tear my shirt yet.
- Josh Lyman: Russell offered me campaign manager.
- Leo McGarry: Really?
- Josh Lyman: Turned him down. Hoynes asked too.
- Leo McGarry: Popular. You change your cologne or something?
- Josh Lyman: Think Hoynes could win?
- Leo McGarry: With Baker out? Russell's got a huge financial advantage. Sitting VP, he's going to raise a lot more money and he's in a position to offer a lot more favors.
- Josh Lyman: Hoynes is a guy without a job.
- Leo McGarry: That said, Hoynes is much more experienced in the job that Bob Russell holds, he was elected senator of a huge, complicated, and usually Republican state and Russell got elected representative of a district the size of my thumb.
- Josh Lyman: Hoynes is smarter than Russell. He'll kick his ass in the debates.
- Leo McGarry: And he's got more foreign policy experience. It could happen. But you gotta want to work for him and you gotta want him to win. You want that?
- Josh Lyman: I want to get Jeb Bartlet a third term.
- Leo McGarry: Yeah.
- Josh Lyman: What happened to the good old days when a couple of hacks with cigars chose the nominee in a smoke-filled back room?
- Leo McGarry: They didn't do so bad, did they? Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower.
- Josh Lyman: We need a back room.
- Leo McGarry: Well, we just about outlawed smoking and at this point I'm not allowed to even look at a cigar. But we're it. You and me. This is the back room.
- Josh Lyman: [Josh and Leo converge while walking through a doorway, ducking under Christmas greenery that maintenance staff are hanging up] Season's greetings.
- Leo McGarry: You pick your dream candidate yet?
- Josh Lyman: I can't pick up and leave the White House to go run a campaign for some dark horse I pulled out of a cornfield.
- Leo McGarry: I did.
- Josh Lyman: The president can't move his legs. NASA's wondering if the next Ice Age starts on Tuesday. I gotta stay here, finish what I started.
- Leo McGarry: [Shaking his head and starting to walk away] It doesn't finish, Josh. It keeps going.
- Josh Lyman: Cabinet meeting?
- Will Bailey: ...an informal conversation with senior members of the administration.
- Josh Lyman: President doesn't need the Cabinet swooping in on their shining steeds.
- Will Bailey: Wanna step into your office or something?
- Josh Lyman: The president is still running the show, on two continents. Russell can stop with the less than subtle insinuations to the contrary. There will be no cabinet meeting.
- Will Bailey: It's been announced. You don't think it will be more awkward if it doesn't happen.
- Josh Lyman: You know what? Watch yourself. You and the candidate.
- Will Bailey: You done?
- Josh Lyman: No. Free advice for the campaign trail - stop with the ceaseless mentions of his tennis game. Doesn't make him look young and vigorous, it makes him look like a dilettante who can't settle down with a thick book.
- Donna Moss: Wheels down in Beijing in a minute or so.
- Josh Lyman: A cabinet meeting.
- Donna Moss: You really think all the talk about tennis makes him look flaky?
- Josh Lyman: No, I think it makes him look young and vigorous.