- Drew Carey: The points are something you'll never see, like me on a box of Wheaties.
- [audience laughs]
- Drew Carey: Doesn't really matter. Before we get the show started, I want to show this great headline we got from the, uh, Desert News Week- TV Week.
- [shows newspaper headline, which has a picture of Colin Mochrie]
- Drew Carey: "Colin Mochrie, pictured here, is the zany host of the clear- clever and witty British game show "Whose Line is it Anyway?"."
- [to Colin]
- Drew Carey: So congratulations, pal!
- Colin Mochrie: Oh thank you!
- [audience applauds/cheers as Ryan congratulates him]
- Drew Carey: [pointing at Colin] Don't you ever pull that stuff on me again!
- Colin Mochrie: [holding up hands] Okay.
- Wayne Brady: [in "Questions Only", the scene is "tensions rise in the cottage where Snow White and the seven dwarfs live"] You usin' my toothbrush?
- Kathy Greenwood: Aren't you supposed to be HAPPY?
- Wayne Brady: Do I look like Snow White?
- Kathy Greenwood: Are you sayin' I'm startin' to look like a man?
- Wayne Brady: Do you want me to take you and throw you into the enchanted forest?
- Kathy Greenwood: Are you kidding?
- [chuckles]
- Wayne Brady: Have you ever had your butt kicked by six other dwarfs?
- [mimes stacking them on top of each other]
- Kathy Greenwood: Do you really think that you guys are men enough?
- Wayne Brady: You want an apple lodged in your trachea?
- Kathy Greenwood: What are you, some kind of witch?
- Wayne Brady: ...Did you know "la bruja" is "witch" in Spanish?
- Kathy Greenwood: Are you being condes... cending?
- Wayne Brady: Was that ALMOST a question?
- [Kathy can't think of a question and leaves the stage; Wayne mimes pushing down all the other dwarfs]
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Questions Only", the scene is "tensions rise in the cottage where Snow White and the seven dwarfs live"] What's with the mouth?
- Ryan Stiles: Is it in an odd place?
- Colin Mochrie: Why are you so insulting to me?
- Ryan Stiles: Why are you asking so many questions?
- Colin Mochrie: Do I have to teach you a lesson?
- Ryan Stiles: WOULD you?
- Colin Mochrie: Do we have the same idea in mind?
- [Ryan chuckles and leaves the stage]
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Hollywood Director", after Colin has called cut] It's hard for me to get the reality of the scene. Unlike YOU, I wasn't alive during the fifties.
- Colin Mochrie: [after audience laughter] ... Good one.
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Helping Hands", the setting being a supermarket check-out lane]
- [holding up one of Kathy's purchases, a pregnancy test]
- Ryan Stiles: What do we have HERE?
- Kathy Greenwood: Please just get the price...
- Ryan Stiles: Someone have a bun in the oven?
- Kathy Greenwood: Listen... it's possible.
- Ryan Stiles: Hmm. I'll just ring that up. $3.25 for the loose woman.