- Colin Mochrie: [Greatest Hits - Songs of the Flight attendent] One of my favorite styles, as you know, because we spend a lot of time together...
- Ryan Stiles: Shhh, shhh...
- Colin Mochrie: -unnaturally almost. I, uh, I love my Metal.
- Ryan Stiles: Oh.
- Colin Mochrie: And I love the hyper-metal sounds of
- [shouting]
- Colin Mochrie: THRASH! AND THEIR GREAT FLIGHT ATTENDANT SONG...
- [cuts to Drew, who is laughing hysterically]
- Colin Mochrie: [cuts back to Ryan and Colin, who is still shouting loudly] 'DO YOU WANT MEAT OR FISH?'
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Weird Newscasters", his quirk is "Hollywood's most demanding temperamental star trying to give an award-winning performance"] There is no sun in Los Angeles today. The rain keeps coming down, and down, when will it STOP?
- [pounds piano]
- Ryan Stiles: I'm just a weatherman, I wasn't ready to play GOD today! How many days of rain will it be? Three? Five? Seven? Sometimes, it seems like it'll never STOP. The rain drips like the perspiration down my lips, down my throat, until the milky white countenance of my chest. And it will get much worse. For towards the end of the week, there will be a tornado sweeping me away!
- [twirling]
- Ryan Stiles: I'm coming home, ma! I'm coming home!
- [bows to audience applause/cheers]
- Drew Carey: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "The good news, and the bad news."
- Brad Sherwood: [to Wayne] The good news is, we're going to name a disease after you.
- [walks off-stage]
- Colin Mochrie: [to Wayne] You're in a very funny show. It's against "Friends".
- Wayne Brady: [to Colin] Honey, I'm pregnant. Meet the father.
- [Brad steps in and hugs Wayne]
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Greatest Hits"] One of my favorite American rock artists, of course, is Tom Petty.
- Ryan Stiles: [sighs happily] Hey, if he has a little spare change in his pocket, is that Petty cash?
- [Colin and Ryan pretend to laugh]
- Ryan Stiles: Sometimes, I make myself laugh.
- Colin Mochrie: Yeah, it's nice to have someone doing it.
- Brad Sherwood: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] Ryan, has anyone ever told you you look like Doogie Howser?
- [Ryan mimes punching him]
- Drew Carey: Hey, for you regular viewers of the show, you might've noticed by now: I don't do a damn thing.