Will & Grace (TV Series)

Coffee & Commitment (2001)

Sean Hayes: Jack McFarland

Quotes 

• Jack : [High on coffee, and saying speedily]  Hey, friends, lovers, mothers and other strangers. You are never going to believe what's happened to me... Oh, my God, did you just see that? I almost did a half nelson, I almost bruised my delicates, my delicates, my domo arigatos, Mr tomatoes.

  [Gulps iced coffee drink] 

  Jack : Huge News! I have met, are you ready for this, Mr Right, well, Mr Right Now, anyway. Good night, folks, I'm here all week, Jack 2000. He works over at the Jumpin Java - you know, that coffee shop on seventy second and his name is Paul and he is cute with a capital Q! And the busier it gets, the hotter he gets, and the hotter he gets, the sweatier he gets, and the sweatier he gets... I forgot where I'm goin with this, but the point is me likey he and he likey me and the best part is... , schezam! he gives me free iced coffee every time I go in which is every hour on the hour and thank you very much and occasionally on the half hour. Ba ba ba ba ba

  [blows raspberry] 

• Jack : [jumpy]  Why isn't there any coffee?

  Karen : The same reason you don't have a wife and three kids honey... It's the way God wants it.

• Jack : I've got a monkey on my back named Juan Valdez!