- Karen: I think you're missing the silver lining here. When you're old and in diapers, a gay son will know how to keep you away from chiffon and backlighting.
- Judith McFarland: [to Jack] The man you thought was your father, isn't really your father.
- Will Truman: This is like watching "Gays of our Lives".
- Mrs. McFarland (Jack's mom): [to Jack] Well, you always were very fond of the nursery rhyme, 'Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Three Men In A Tub.'