- Jack McFarland: Toot toot! Heyyy!
- [SQUEAKING HORN]
- Jack McFarland: Guess what I just got off of eBay?
- Grace: I don't know what you got, but I know a scooter that just won a homosexual.
- Jack McFarland: Oh, my God. You are so blah! I got this scooter, which happens to be autographed by Ricky Martin, the openly-Latino pop singing sensation. But the best part is, I outbid my arch-rival, Dr Dangerous, to get it.
- Will: Dr Dangerous? Do Mr Thumb and Shrinkface know about this?
- Jack McFarland: Dr Dangerous is his online screen name, and he and I always bid against the same things online, and he always wins, but that's about to change. Do you know why?
- Will: Because we don't care?
- Jack McFarland: No. Because I have this special online beeper. It lets me know immediately when someone outbids me. That's how I got this Ricky Martin scooter, and let me tell you something...
- Will: Let me guess. It bangs, it bangs.
- Will: Look at this: Sandra Bernhard is friends with the Dalai Lama. I bet she doesn't make a big deal out of it, either, y'know, like Richard Gere, or, or the Tibetan people.