- Joe Montgomery Hackett: She spends most of her time down at the docks, letting tourists take pictures of her parrot picking birdseed out of her navel!
- Brian Michael Hackett: If she were 20 and living in a loft in SOHO, they'd call that performance art.
- Antonio Scarpacci: You don't understand - a man from immigration is coming, and we have to show him we're a real couple!
- Sconset Sal: Looks like we got some ACQUAINTIN' to do ..