Women of the House (TV Series)

Guess Who's Sleeping in Lincoln's Bed? (1995)

Patricia Heaton: Natalie Hollingsworth

Quotes 

• Natalie Hollingsworth : Emerson, what is this about you being evicted?

  Sissy Emerson : Oh, it's nothing. I'm sure I can straighten it out. It's all due to a little miscalculation I made when I was working at The Post. I thought that even if I lost that job, I would have enough money to last me for at least a year. But I was drinking then. Turns out I only had enough money to last about, uh - an hour and a half.

• Natalie Hollingsworth : Suzanne, you cannot invite someone from a sitcom to have dinner with the President. I mean, if we're gonna do that, why don't we just get the guy who invented Viewmaster?

• Natalie Hollingsworth : Suzanne, having dinner with the President is an opportunity only about 1 in 250 million Americans is ever given. I don't think we can afford to make a mistake here.

  Suzanne Sugarbaker : Excuse me, Natty, but trust me when I tell you this is one thing you do not have to worry about. Just for your information, I have personally hosted over 200 dinner parties while traveling the beauty pageant circuit.

  Natalie Hollingsworth : You know, I have never known anyone like you. It's like your only frame of reference is these beauty pageants, like you were born in that little glass isolation booth in Atlantic City.

• Suzanne Sugarbaker : Well, that was Jamie Farr. You know, he used to play Klinger on M*A*S*H. You can put a star next to his name on the guest list, Malone!

  Natalie Hollingsworth : Oh, isn't that wonderful? Now all we need to invite is Mr. Ed and our sitcom contingent will be complete.

  Sissy Emerson : Come on, Natty. I'm sick and tired of hearing about how terrible it would be if someone who worked on a sitcom could have dinner with the President. A sitcom is nothing but a little play and, if you ask me, some of them are pretty damn good. In fact, M*A*S*H was better written, more enlightening and entertaining than half the things I've seen at The Kennedy Center or on Broadway.

  Natalie Hollingsworth : Oh, who rattled your chain?

  Sissy Emerson : No one. It's just that I've been sober for several weeks now and apparently I'm starting to sound more intelligent.

• Jennifer Malone : Why do you hate Hollywood so much?

  Natalie Hollingsworth : Oh, I don't hate it. It's just that it's the only town in America where Kato Kaelin would be considered an appropriate babysitter.