Lee Pace: Aaron Tyler

Quotes 

• Aaron Tyler : The fact that it's a cow creamer is proof that my sister is insane. Do you even have a degree?

• Dr. Ron Campbell : So, you set a trap for your sister using this cow creamer as bait?

  Aaron Tyler : Totally.

  Dr. Ron Campbell : That's cracked.

  Aaron Tyler : How is it cracked to be concerned for the welfare of a family member?

  Dr. Ron Campbell : I mean the creamer. It's cracked.

  Aaron Tyler : Oh, yeah. I broke its head off the last time it talked to her.

• Aaron Tyler : What are you?

  Jaye : Huh?

  Aaron Tyler : Are you like Dr. Doolittle?

  Karen Tyler : Your blood sugar's low. Dip something.

  Aaron Tyler : It's not my blood sugar. There's something out there, and it's laughing at us.

  Sharon Tyler : [meaning Jaye]  Did she do this to you?

  Darrin Tyler : You really think that your sister's special lunch is the appropriate place for an existential crisis?

  Aaron Tyler : It's not an existential crisis.

  Karen Tyler : You're studying religion for God's sake. You're bound to have one sooner or later.

  Aaron Tyler : Not an existential crisis! Just the opposite. I was fine when existence had no meaning. Meaninglessness in a universe that had no meaning, that I get. But meaninglessness in a universe that has meaning... what does it mean?

  Jaye : It doesn't mean anything.

  Aaron Tyler : Did the cow creamer tell you that?

  Darrin Tyler : What has gotten into you?

  Karen Tyler : I'm throwing that creamer away the second we get home.

• Darrin Tyler : [Jaye brings Pat to family game night]  The shut-in is certainly bringing out Sharon's competitive streak.

  Fat Pat : You guys are going down.

  Karen Tyler : I think it's time for him to leave.

  Darrin Tyler : Uh-huh.

  Aaron Tyler : [seeing Jaye glance at the cow cream dispenser]  I saw that.

  Darrin Tyler : Saw what?

  Aaron Tyler : She was talking to the cow creamer.

  Jaye : No, I... I really wasn't.

  Darrin Tyler : Don't tease your brother.

  Aaron Tyler : What did the cow tell you to do?

• Jaye : See anything?

  Aaron Tyler : No. Wait. No. This trailer park is void of activity. Shouldn't you people be having hoedowns or shooting beer cans or something?

  Jaye : Stop wasting film. We have a mythical beast to document.

  Aaron Tyler : [she tries to wrest the camera away]  Mine!

  Jaye : You're gonna break it.

  Aaron Tyler : What do you care? You stole it from work.

  Jaye : It was in the lost and found bin. It's a victimless crime.

• Jaye : [spying on a neighbor in her trailer park]  He's such a tease. I haven't seen so much as a flip-flop in a year.

  Aaron Tyler : You don't feel at all like you're exploiting this guy?

  Jaye : Uh-uh. What's the point of living in a trailer park if you can't take in the local color? And by that, I mean spy on the freaks.

  Aaron Tyler : We're all spying on freaks tonight. Talk to any cow creamers recently?

  Jaye : Not recently. No. You think maybe he got so fat, he can't get out?

  Aaron Tyler : His door is very narrow.

  Jaye : He only opens it for food. It's pizza night, so he'll have to open it wide enough to get that box in.

  Aaron Tyler : If your portly chupacabra doesn't emerge soon, I'll be forced to go home and work on my dissertation.

  Jaye : I don't call him that anymore. He might be of Mexican descent. I don't wanna seem insensitive.

  Aaron Tyler : What do you call him?

  Jaye : Fat Pat. It was Fatsquatch, but... so, do Mom and Dad think you're over here studying Jesus and Zeus and Buddha and all the rest?

  Aaron Tyler : Uh-huh. So, do Mom and Dad know you talk to things that don't talk?

  Jaye : It is impressive how long you've managed to fleece them from your ivory tower of academia.

  Aaron Tyler : I'm not fleecing. I'm working really hard on my education. Just not right now.