Wonderfalls (TV Series)

Wax Lion (2004)

Steven Taylor: Loitering Boy

Quotes 

• Jaye : Niagara Falls, one of the seven natural wonders of the world. America's vacationland and honeymoon capital of the greater Buffalo region.

  Loitering Boy : So, what about the legend?

  Jaye : I'm getting to that.

  Loitering Boy : I wanna hear about the Maid of the Mist.

  Jaye : Are you gonna let me talk? Okay. So, there was this god who lived in the waterfall, and these Indians were all afraid of him because he kept killing people. They were like, "Hey, how do we get this guy to stop killing everybody?" And someone said, "Let's give him presents." So they gave him all this stuff, and he was still mad, so they figured, well, if he likes killing people so much, why don't they just kill some people for him? So the chief volunteers his daughter 'cause he thinks that's honorable or something. And they tossed princess in a boat and sent her down the river.

  Loitering Boy : Native Americans never practiced human sacrifice.

  Jaye : Don't interrupt me again. The chief does the whole "Oh, my god. What have I done?" and paddles his canoe out to save her, but princess wasn't having any of that. She's all, "No, no. I surrender to destiny." Famous last words. Seriously. They put it on bathrobes and stuff. Anyway, so then princess takes the plunge. But it's all good, 'cause the god thought the daughter was hot, so he spared her life. He promised if she stayed with him in the cave, he'd forgive her people and protect and enchant their land until the end of time. So she agreed to live with the god in the waterfall and became Maid of the Mist. And thanks to princess, Niagara has remained an enchanted wonderland despite hundreds of years of commercial development.

  Loitering Boy : What happened to the chief?

  Jaye : He died.

  Loitering Boy : Why'd the princess live?

  Jaye : 'Cause she was hot. You gonna buy the tape?

  Loitering Boy : No.

  Jaye : Then get out. No loitering.