Yes Minister (TV Series)

Party Games (1984)

Derek Fowlds: Bernard Woolley

Photos 

Quotes 

• Annie Hacker : [Bernard is waiting at the Hackers' flat for the Minister to come home]  He's obviously been held up. You can stamp some of these cards for me while you're waiting if you like.

  Bernard Woolley : Oh, but aren't they to constituents?

  Annie Hacker : Yes.

  Bernard Woolley : Well, that's not government business, Mrs Hacker, that's political activity. I'm not allowed to help with the Minister's political activities.

  Annie Hacker : Suppose they were all to journalists?

  Bernard Woolley : Oh, that would be alright.

  Annie Hacker : They're all to journalists.

  Bernard Woolley : Fine. I suppose licking is an essential part of relationships with the press.

• [there has arisen the possibility of James Hacker becoming Prime Minister] 

  Sir Humphrey Appleby : How would you feel about your present master as the next Prime Minister?

  [Bernard looks at his watch] 

  Sir Humphrey Appleby : Are you in a hurry?

  Bernard Woolley : No, I was just checking my watch to see it wasn't April 1st!

• Bernard Woolley : [Discussing possible reasons for the Prime Minister's early retirement]  Minister, I've heard something quite different.

  James Hacker : What?

  Bernard Woolley : That there is £1 million worth of diamonds from South Africa in a Downing Street safe, but of course it's only a rumour.

  James Hacker : Is that true?

  Bernard Woolley : Oh, yes.

  James Hacker : So, there ARE all those diamonds in Downing Street!

  Bernard Woolley : Are there?

  James Hacker : You just said there were.

  Bernard Woolley : No, I didn't.

  James Hacker : Yes, you did! You said you'd heard this rumour, I said is it true, you said yes!

  Bernard Woolley : I said yes, it was true that it was a rumour.

  James Hacker : You said you heard it was true!

  Bernard Woolley : No, I said it was true that I heard it!

  Annie Hacker : I'm sorry to cut into this important discussion, but do you believe it?

  James Hacker : I believe I heard it. Oh, about the diamonds. No.

  Annie Hacker : Is it impossible?

  James Hacker : No, but it's never been officially denied. First rule in politics: never believe anything until it's officially denied.

• Bernard Woolley , James Hacker , Annie Hacker : Have you heard the news?

  Bernard Woolley , James Hacker , Annie Hacker : Yes!

• Bernard Woolley : So the resignation is to give time for the new leader to be run in before the next election?

  Annie Hacker : Now the Home Secretary's been run in already!

  [They both laugh]