Thirtysomething (TV Series)

The Mike Van Dyke Show (1988)

Mel Harris: Hope Murdoch Steadman

Quotes 

• Michael Steadman : Is that enough?

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Michael, it's a tricycle. That's a huge present.

  Michael Steadman : Well, I know, but what if she doesn't like it? Then there's no backup. Maybe we should order the entire FAO Schwarz catalog just to be safe.

• Michael Steadman : You want to know if I accept December 25 as the birth of Jesus.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Michael.

  Michael Steadman : Okay, okay, I accept it. Now you want to know if I accept that a star led three wise men to a manger, or a lady who claims she hadn't had sex just had a baby who was the son of God.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : And I'm supposed to accept that a tiny drop of oil lasted eight days and that six men with bows and arrows defeated all the Roman legions?

  Michael Steadman : Syrians. Okay, okay. I'll give you the star and the three wise men if you agree to no lights outside, presents, and at least two nights of Hanukkah. And a 50% reduction in medium-range ballistic missiles.

• Michael Steadman : So tomorrow at the airport, I'm gonna get you one of those airplanes that fly back to you for Elliot. He loves those.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Which leaves Ethan, Nancy, and Ellyn.

  Michael Steadman : I'll get Ethan one, too.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Oh, I feel sorry for Ethan. Nancy says all he talks about is shooting down Santa Claus with a missile launcher.

  Michael Steadman : Well, look, a little heat-seeking action. You know, a SAM6? That would do the trick.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Oh, great. And then there's Brittany and Carol and Linda.

  [trying to feed Janey] 

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Okay, open up for Mommy. Just a couple bites before we go. No, you don't want any? You want to feel yourself? Okay, you do it. There's Jim, Barton, and your brother.

  Michael Steadman : We don't have to get him anything.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Oh, and there's your mother and my parents. And... oh, God, the post office. I'm gonna spend my entire lunch hour standing in line.

  Michael Steadman : You want me not to go?

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : No, I want you to go. I just want you to be in two places at once.

• Michael Steadman : You know what? I got an idea. We pick out a charity and we make donations in everybody's name. It's quick, it's virtuous, and it's convenient.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Yeah, Steve, David...

  Michael Steadman : No, the AIDS project. The homeless. Oh, wait, there's some right there.

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : [cleaning up Janey's spilled food]  Oh, well, give me that. Thank you. Yeah, Michael, I know. I mean, it's Christmas and you do make donations, but you still have to buy presents.

  Michael Steadman : But why?

  Hope Murdoch Steadman : Can you explain to me again why they wait a year to put up your father's headstone?

  Michael Steadman : They want to make sure he's really dead.