- Marshall: [after telling Lily how he wants to provide them with the 'life ideal' of home, school for the children, et al] I know that you don't need it, but I love you and I want to give it to you anyway. I want to give you the package.
- Lily: The package? You've already given me the package. You've got a great package, Marshall. I love your package.
- Marshall: Lily, you're the most incredible woman I know, and you deserve a big package.
- Lily: Your package has always been big enough. You may not realize this Marshall Eriksen, but you've got a hugh package.
- [walks off]
- Marshall: [another woman who overheard the conversation smiles curiously as Marshall follows Lily] Yeah.
- Lily: Look, you know, whatever anthropology you do at work is your business, but please don't act like that around here.
- Marshall: Lily, when Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-...
- Lily: No, when Dr. Australia Birdbath-Vaseline came home from the gorillas, she didn't run around picking nits out of people's hair and throwing feces!
- Marshall: [after Barney tells him to fit in at work he must change his entire personality] Okay, at first, I was appalled, but then I realized it's just like Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vasquez in Life Among the Gorillas. I have to gain the acceptance of the herd by behaving exactly like one of them. It's an anthropological study. Isn't that cool?
- Lily: It sounds kinda like peer pressure.
- Marshall: No, no, no. It's totally anthropological and it's cool and I'm doing it.
- Lily: Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's peer pressure. We have an assembly every year.
- Marshall: I'm *portraying* someone who succumbs to peer pressure.
- Lily: All right, but if those guys try to pressure you to smoke, what do you say?
- Marshall: Only when I'm drunk.
- Narrator: When your Uncle Marshall was ten years old, he read a book called Life Among the Gorillas. It was written by an anthropologist named Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez, it told the story of the year she spent living among the Western Lowland Gorillas of Cameroon. When Dr. Birnholz-Vazquez came to the local community college to give a lecture, Marshall, the youngest member of the audience, raised his hand with a question.
- Young Marshall: What advice do you have for a budding anthropologist?
- Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez: So you want to be an anthropologist?
- Young Marshall: Yep. When I grow up, I want to go live with the gorillas, just like you did.
- Narrator: What she said next changed his life.
- Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez: Oh, that's wonderful, but I'm afraid you can't. They'll all be dead by then.
- Ted Mosby: [after getting an ominous-sounding e-mail from Victoria] So she's going to dump me. Has anyone ever said, "Listen, I've been thinking," and then follow it up with something good? It's not like: Listen, I've been thinking, Nutter-Butters are an underrated cookie. What else can it be? What could she possibly have to say to me that she couldn't write in an e-mail?
- Robin Scherbatsky: I cut off all my fingers?
- Bilson: Okay, Eriksen, let's get to work. It's 2:00 a.m. It's raining outside. Ding dong! What? The doorbell? Oh, hello, Jessica Alba in a trench coat and nothing else. But wait - knock, knock. Somebody's at the back door?
- Marshall: I don't have a back door.
- Bilson: [Ignores this] Oh, my gosh, Jessica Simpson? What a surprise. Two Jessicas, you gotta pick one. What do you do? Go.
- Marshall: Right. Well, uh... I'm engaged, so...
- Bilson: Fiancee's out of town. What do you do? Go.
- Marshall: We're still engaged, even if she's...
- Bilson: Okay, fiancee's dead. Hit by a bus. What do you do? Go.