Futurama (TV Series)

Roswell That Ends Well (2001)

David Herman: General, Sergeant, Scientist

Quotes 

• Scientist : [an autopsy on Zoidberg is taking place]  Heart.

  Dr. Zoidberg : Take, I've got four of them!

  Scientist : Stomach contents: One deviled egg.

  Dr. Zoidberg : Deviled egg?

  [eats it from the tray] 

  Scientist : [pause]  The same deviled egg.

• Leela : Fry's from around this time. I'll talk like him.

  [to salesman] 

  Leela : Yo, homes! We're looking for a microwave oven.

  Sears-Roebuck Salesman : Microwave? Never heard of that brand, sweetheart. What you want is the Deluxe Gas Princess. This beauty has four broilers; a casserole indicator; a fold-out ironing board; and, down here, a foot-soaking tub; since, as a woman, you'll be standing in front of it all day.

  [Leela slams oven door on salesman's knee] 

  Leela : Oh, I'm sorry. Now I'll aks you again. Where is the mi-cro-wave?

  Sears-Roebuck Salesman : Sir, your wife is histerical, so I'll address this to you. This oven is lighting fast. It only takes five hours to cook a pot roast.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Ooh, that's good news. You know, you don't cook enough roasts, Leela.

  [Leela turns on stove, setting the Professor's tie on fire] 

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : [to salesman]  Women!

• Sergeant : Private, I want this toilet bowl so clean, I can eat off it, because I intend to!

• General : What's your purpose here?

  Dr. Zoidberg : Alright, officer. I'll move it along.

  General's Assistant : What the general means is why'd you come to Earth?

  Dr. Zoidberg : Not a day goes by I don't ask myself the same question.