"Mystery Science Theater 3000" 'Manos' the Hands of Fate (TV Episode 1993) Poster

Frank Conniff: TV's Frank


  • Dr. Forrester : Frank, where is our pizza? It's been two hours since you ordered.

    TV's Frank : Well, I called Togo's Pizza. They were busy, so I ended up having to order from Torgo's Pizza.

    Dr. Forrester : Come in.

    Torgo : [Torgo enters, the music from 'Manos: The Hands of Fate' in the background]  LaRgE SaUsAgE AnD MuShRoOm... ThIn CrUsT?

    TV's Frank : That's us.

    Torgo : ThE ToTaL Is $14.50, pLeaSe.

    Dr. Forrester : Here!

    Torgo : Do... YoU HaVe AnYtHiNg SmAlLeR? I OnLy CaRrY TwEnTy DoLlArS In ChAnGe.

    Dr. Forrester : That's all I have.

    TV's Frank : I have a twenty.

    Dr. Forrester : Well, why didn't you give him the twenty?

    TV's Frank : I was... I was saving it, you know...

    Dr. Forrester : Would you please give him the twenty?

    Torgo : WeLl, ThAnK YoU. I'lL... GeT YoUr... ChAnGe.

    Dr. Forrester : Oh, keep it!

    Torgo : ThAnK YoU VeRy MuCh, SiR. LeT Me... JuSt GeT YoUr CoMpLiMeNtArY CrAzY BrEaD.

    Dr. Forrester , TV's Frank : NO! No, no, no, that's okay! That's quite all right.

    TV's Frank : Hey, what about our pop?

    Torgo : I LeFt It In ThE... CaR. I'lL Be RiGhT BaCk.

    Dr. Forrester , TV's Frank : Oh.

    Dr. Forrester : Until next time, Joel. Push the Button, Frank.

    TV's Frank : Say, you know, it's been two hours, but it's still pretty warm.

    Torgo : [as Frank and Forrester spit up their pizza]  ThEy AlWaYs Do ThAt.

  • TV's Frank : Uh, guys, uh, I know this is not normal procedure for me to do this, but, uh...

    Dr. Forrester : [off-screen]  Frank, I'm out of the shower! I need you to towel me off!

    TV's Frank : Uh, coming, sir!

    TV's Frank : [hushed voice]  Uh, I just wanted to say how really sorry I am about "Manos: the Hands of Fate." I mean, I know it's our job to send you really bad movies, but this time, even I have to admit, we really went too far. I'm really sorry.

  • [Frank is dressed as an executioner] 

    Dr. Forrester : Oh, Joel. A hearty hello to you and yours. Let me just say this about today's invention exchange - let them eat... chocolate.

    TV's Frank : That's right J...

    TV's Frank : [finds the mouth opening in his hood]  That's right, Joel. Our invention this week is based on one's natural inclination to bite the heads off of chocolate bunnies.

    Dr. Forrester : That's right, Frank.

    Dr. Forrester : [steps aside to reveal guillotine]  That's why we've invented the chocolate bunny guillotine. Eliminate the guess work in biting the heads off bunnies. Heh-heh-heh-heh. Ready, Mr. Executioner?

    TV's Frank : Yes, my liege.

    Dr. Forrester : [producing a scroll]  You have stolen painted eggs in a time of famine. Uh, off with their head Frank.

    [Frank cuts the string] 

    Dr. Forrester : And no chocolate mess. Well, poopsies?

    Tom Servo : [crying]  What about the pardon from Fanny Farmer?

    Crow T. Robot : Yeah. His only crime was being born delicious!

  • Dr. Forrester : Uh, hi, fellas. Look, I, uh, I-I just wanted to let you know, I know this movie's a tough one, and I just wanted to let you know I feel for ya. I...

    TV's Frank : [off-screen]  Doctor? Caramel corn's ready. Do you want it in your Little Mermaid bowl?

    Dr. Forrester : Uh, fine, sure.

    Dr. Forrester : Now, you realize if you tell Frank I've done this, I'll have to kill him, so let's not, okay? 'Nuff said? All righty? Buh-bye.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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