The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet (TV Series)

Tuba Incident (1953)

Ricky Nelson: Ricky Nelson

Quotes 

• [Ozzie and Harriet begin to disagree over a newspaper article about a woman who wants her husband to stop playing the tuba at home] 

  David Nelson : Our English teacher says that open discussion is the backbone of our nation.

  Ozzie Nelson : Well, that's true, David, if the subject is something sensible. I mean, just because some idiotic woman won't allow her husband to play a tuba in his own home, that isn't even worthy of discussion.

  Harriet Nelson : Well, now, how can you say she's an idiotic woman? You don't even know her.

  Ozzie Nelson : There's an old legal term, Harriet: Res Ipsa Loquitur - the thing speaks for itself.

  Harriet Nelson : Yes, and when it's a tuba, it speaks in very low tones.

  Harriet Nelson : [Ricky is distorting his face and crossing his eyes]  Ricky, what are you doing?

  Ricky Nelson : I'm making believe I'm playing a tuba.

  Harriet Nelson : Stop it. You look silly.

  David Nelson : I'll bet that Mr Studelmeyer sure looks silly.

  Ozzie Nelson : Now wait a minute, David, how can you sit there and make a statement like that? You've never even seen the man.

  Ricky Nelson : There's an old legal term: Raise up the locomotive.