- Berta: [about Charlie's behavior around Mia] Considerate?
- Charlie Harper: Yeah. See, I love Mia, and I want her to be happy. And I happen to know she's not happy when I smoke cigars, and drink, and gamble, and stay out all night, and eat meat and sugar and grease and fat, and nap, and swear, and wear shorts, bowling shirts...
- Berta: Charlie, you ain't just whipped. You're roped, saddled and gelded. They could use you to give rides at kids' birthday parties.