Stars on Trial (2005 TV Special)
Ron Sparks: The Judge
Quotes
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Juror #1 : [discussing Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie] Well for the record, I'm on Jen's side.
The Honorable Ron Sparks : You heard it here, folks: Trevor Boris is in favour of genocide.
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The Honorable Ron Sparks : I sentence 50 Cent to get married, settle down, and start a family of nickles and dimes. HA! Small change joke!
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Juror #6 : [on 50 Cent] He got shot nine times, which I believe is a world record.
The Honorable Ron Sparks : Oh no, it's not.
Juror #6 : It's not?
The Honorable Ron Sparks : Show him, Rusty.
Rusty Waters : [Rusty points at his wounds]
The Honorable Ron Sparks : Fifteen times in the face!
Juror #6 : Oh. Well it's still more times than me, which automatically makes him a GANGSTA!
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Britney Spears : [stands accused]
The Honorable Ron Sparks : For having Kevin Federline's child, I sentence you to kill the child, then Kevin, then Shawn Desman, and then yourself.
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[Fraser discusses one of the accused, we hear scraping/dragging noises]
Juror #6 : ...and I'd like to point out that Ron moving his chair around like that is very distracting!
[Ron and Rusty are loudly dragging his huge judge's chair across the courtroom floor]
The Honorable Ron Sparks : Oh, sorry! We should probably do this later.
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The Honorable Ron Sparks : Lindsay Lohan, I sentence you to never make a sequel to Herbie: Fully Loaded.
The Honorable Ron Sparks : Unless you promise to stop singing. That would be a fair trade.
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The Honorable Ron Sparks : I hereby sentence myself to do a sexy dance for you all!
[he does a sexy dance]
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The Honorable Ron Sparks : I order you to take Kanye West shopping and help him pick out a pair of penny loafers!