- Reba: Barbra Jean, I got ya a little somethin'. Here ya go.
- Barbra Jean: [reading] Getting Rid of the Unwanted.
- Reba: I saw it and thought of you.
- Barbra Jean: Aw!
- Cheyenne: [Coming down the stairs] Alright the kids are all bathed and ready for bed and Elizabeth is waiting for you upstairs to go sing your goofy opera version of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star".
- Van Montgomery: Well, singin' opera won't make her smarter.
- Cheyenne: What are you talking about?
- Van Montgomery: I've been reading these child development books and we've been doing it all wrong with Elizabeth.
- Cheyenne: I don't think so, Van.
- Van Montgomery: Oh yes we have! We've wasted so much time! All that time I spent blowin' on her stomach I could have been teachin' her the periodic table of elements!
- Cheyenne: Van, Elizabeth laughs when you blow on her stomach.
- Van Montgomery: Well, there's plenty of time for laughter later when she's a chemist!
- Cheyenne: Okay, alright, look I do not know what you are all worked up about. I told you it is completely normal for kids to develop at different rates.
- Van Montgomery: Yeah but what if she's behind the other kids to begin with?
- Cheyenne: Why would she be behind?
- Van Montgomery: Because of me. Maybe I'm not the sharpest tool in the chandelier.
- Cheyenne: You're plenty sharp.
- Van Montgomery: Yeah right! I couldn't tie my shoe until I was five years old.
- Cheyenne: Yeah and your mom told me why. Because when you'd put the little rabbit through the rabbit hole all of the sudden your shoes would turn into a spaceship or racecars and you'd run off in your socks playing this incredibly creative game.
- Van Montgomery: Yeah those rabbits were kinda hilarious!
- Cheyenne: You are kinda hilarious and inventive and smart and your daughter is gonna be the same way.
- Van Montgomery: I meant to say "the sharpest tool in the shed".
- Cheyenne: I like the way you said it the first time.
- [They kiss]
- Van Montgomery: I'm gonna go check on the kids.
- [Operatic]
- Van Montgomery: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star...
- Reba: You can't be afraid of ghosts! You're brave! I've seen you eat raisenet off the sidewalk!
- Barbra Jean: It was a Junior Mint and I caught it before it hit the ground! Besides what do you know about fear Miss I'm-Not-Afraid-Of-Anything?
- Reba: Why does everybody say that I'm not afraid of anything?
- Barbra Jean: Because you're not. You're not afraid of the dark or thunder or wearin' pink with red hair. Which is not wise but you do it. You're fearless Reba!
- Reba: It's not that I'm fearless, it's just that I think believing in ghosts is silly!
- Barbra Jean: Well, you wouldn't think it was so silly if the ghost was after you!
- Reba: What are you talking about?
- Barbra Jean: If I tell you,you're just gonna make fun of me.
- Reba: Barbra Jean I'm already makin' fun of you.
- Barbra Jean: Alright if you must know the ghost is after me because I'm a bad person.
- Reba: What?
- Barbra Jean: I stole your husband, I broke up your family and now I have a way better house than you do!
- Reba: So the reason you're afraid of ghosts is because you think they're gonna punish you for what you did?
- Barbra Jean: Yeah.
- Reba: Oh Barbra Jean, if anybody's gonna punish you it's me! And I promise you, when I die I will haunt you! Every noise you hear, everytime you trip, every bad hair day it'll be me!
- Barbra Jean: Oh Reba, don't try to make me feel better! It just makes it worse because this horrible thing that I've done that I can't undo
- [starts to cry]
- Barbra Jean: I did to my very best friend!
- Reba: Barbra Jean, we're not best friends.
- [pause]
- Reba: Barbra Jean things happen for a reason. Like maybe you're in my life because
- [pauses and tries to think of a reason Barbra Jean is in her life]
- Barbra Jean: Reba?
- [Reba puts up her hand to quiet Barbra Jean while she tries to think]
- Reba: [Thinks of something] I needed someone to ruin everything for me.
- Barbra Jean: Well, yeah, I can see how that was helpful.
- Reba: No, no, no, you know what maybe it was! I lived through my biggest fears. My husband left, Kyra moved out and things seemed to be just fallin' apart! You know, nothing gets scarier than that! But because of you I know that I can deal with anything now.
- Barbra Jean: Wow
- [Touches Reba's knee]
- Barbra Jean: I wish I had the kind of courage brought on by a deep personal tragedy.
- Reba: Well you married Brock, that's a start!
- [Removes Barbra Jean's hand]
- Brock Hart: Well isn't this cozy? Reba, I've gotta thank you. You know I would've worried leaving Barbra Jean alone with that ghost you told her about. Luckily, she was over here safe with you all day long.
- [Reba gives a fake smiles]
- Brock Hart: Okay then, I can see you two have had enough fun. Barbra Jean, Honey, you can come home. I found out that the house can't be haunted because the man who died there, had a very peaceful passing.
- Barbra Jean: Oh really?
- Kyra Hart: Yeah, and then his wife, insane with grief, killed herself and their pet dog.
- [Reba shoots a look at her daughter]
- Reba: [Barely audible] Kyra!
- [Pulls her aside]
- Reba: She was on her was back to *your* house!
- Kyra Hart: I know. I nipped that one in the bud.