- Lady Karen Winderscale: [desperately] Look, Darling, I can explain.
- Lord Winderscale: Please, no more lies. You wanted it so much.
- [he gives the painting to Lady Karen]
- Lord Winderscale: Here, it's yours. Take it and go. Your bags are packed and ready. Mr Millhaven's two representatives are awaiting your arrival in their hotel in Leeds. I do hope he pays you a fair price for that. Because *that* is all you're ever going to get from me by way of a settlement.
- Lady Karen Winderscale: Look, you can't...
- [to Howard Longhurst]
- Lady Karen Winderscale: He can't do this to me, Howard.
- Howard Longhurst: He can. Think yourself lucky, Karen. In a divorce court you'd get nothing. I've resigned as your husband's legal advisor and I'm quite prepared to testify to our affair.
- Kevin: You and all? Hell's bloody bells!
- Lord Winderscale: Indeed.
- Lord Winderscale: [shouts] Morgan!
- Lady Karen Winderscale: You fool! I've got *exactly* what I wanted: one million pounds, and I don't have to share a penny of it with anybody. All I ever wanted was to get away from you - from you and this dead-and-alive place.
- [Morgan comes into the room]
- Lord Winderscale: This lady is leaving, Morgan, never to return.
- Morgan: [obsequiously] Oh, very good, sir.
- Morgan: [snarls] Right, you trollope. Git!
- [Lady Winderscale walks out of the room]
- Kevin: After all we went through to get it back for you.
- Sally Hardcastle: What the *hell* have you done?
- Lord Winderscale: [gleefully] That painting is in fact a forgery.
- Kevin: So Lady Muck ended up with sweet FA?
- Lord Winderscale: Correct. And she won't find out until Millhaven tries to get it authenticated.
- [they all laugh]