- Peggy Hill: Hank, I'm a substitute teacher. I float in and out of students' lives, and I never know if I've made a difference. With this one, I did make an impact.
- Hank Hill: Uh... he's in prison, Peggy.
- Wesley Archer: How do you say "Peggy Hill is the smartest, most talented woman on earth" in Spanish?
- Peggy Hill: Hm... well, that would be "Peggy Hill es bueno."
- Dale Gribble: As an official employee of the prison system, I now qualify to be the executioner. Now where's Old Sparky?
- warden: Old Sparky's been put out to pasture, we use lethal injection.
- Dale Gribble: Okay, and where's Old Squirty? Dead is dead. I don't care how we get there.
- Wesley Archer: I have something to tell you. Can you hear me?
- Peggy Hill: I can hear you.
- Wesley Archer: Good. Peggy all this timer sand, you've been bringing me?
- Peggy Hill: Oh, don't mention that.
- Wesley Archer: This is coke, Peggy. You've been smuggling me cocaine. That's a federal offence, and you know what? You're gonna bring me more of it.
- Peggy Hill: Is this some kind of a...
- Wesley Archer: How stupid can you be? I never had you as a teacher. I grew up in Arkansa. I'm almost 40 for cripe sake! I wrote every teacher in the Arlan yearbook, and you were the only sap, dumb enough to answer.
- Peggy Hill: So, all that about, being the only positive influence on you..
- Wesley Archer: Here's what you're gonna do. You're going to bring me a brick of cocaine, every week. And that's not all.
- [Archer whispers the rest of his proposal to Peggy]