- Marie Barone: Fine! You got it out of me. Your father and I... succumbed to temptation before we got married. I fell for your father's boyish good looks. But, it didn't matter. We were in love. Right, Frank?
- Frank Barone: I wanted sex.
- [Robert has found out that his birthday is not when he was told it was]
- Robert Barone: I guess I should know. When *is* my birthday?
- Marie Barone: April 6th.
- Robert Barone: Well that's today.
- Ray Barone: [after a slight pause] Surprise!
- Robert Barone: Well congratulations Raymond. You were concieved legitimately. You win again
- Ray Barone: It's not a competition Robert.
- [Ray smiles gleefully]