Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Series)

Why Are We Here? (1997)

Ray Romano: Ray Barone

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ray Barone : [Ray hangs a city map on the wall]  Look, here's the Tri-State area. Here's where my mom and dad live.

  [He draws a dot] 

  Ray Barone : So, anything within this circle is too close to my parents' house.

  [he draws a circle around the dot] 

  Debra Barone : Put that away. They'll be here any minute.

  Ray Barone : You're not listening. If my mom can cook sauce and get it to our house before it's cold she's gonna be over every day. We'll call this the hot zone.

  Debra Barone : I like her sauce.

  Ray Barone : Let me finish please. Now anything within this zone

  [draws another slightly larger circle] 

  Ray Barone : is gonna be about a once-a-week visit okay? Here farthest away.

  [He draws the biggest circle of them all] 

  Ray Barone : Best zone right? Wrong! 'Cause if we move here and they visit they become overnight guests. Okay, so the middle zone is our target area. It's too close for an overnight too far for sauce.

  Debra Barone : Speak for yourself because I have no problem with your parents.

• Debra Barone : I never thought I'd miss our little apartment.

  Ray Barone : C'mon, that apartment was tiny and cramped and noisy.

  Debra Barone : Yeah, your parents would only visit once every other month.

  Ray Barone : I loved that place.

  Debra Barone : Yeah, I know.

• Ray Barone : Close your eyes for a second.

  Debra Barone : Why?

  Ray Barone : Just close your eyes. I wanna show you something.

  [she closes her eyes and he immediately flicks her on the nose] 

  Debra Barone : What are you doing?

  Ray Barone : See, that's my mom and dad right there. They're just a little annoying. If I don't do that for another two months-

  [flicks himself] 

  Ray Barone : That's not too bad. I could almost live with that. When we move across the street from them How does this feeI?

  [he flicks her over and over again on the nose. She smacks his hand away] 

  Ray Barone : You see? They get you.

  Debra Barone : Look first of all your parents are not this okay?

  [she flicks him so hard he hits his head on the wall] 

  Debra Barone : Secondly, they are not gonna be over every day.

  Ray Barone : You poor, blind, fat lady.