- Dr. Allison Cameron: [coming in, with Foreman and Chase, to announce a patient's symptoms] We've got rectal bleeding.
- Dr. Gregory House: What, all of you?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a six foot long hose shoved into your large intestine?
- Dr. Gregory House: No, but I now have a much greater respect for whichever basketball player you dated in college.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: [finds House sleeping] You've seen one patient in the last two hours.
- Dr. Gregory House: Complicated case. I'm a night owl. Wilson's an early bird. We're different species.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Move him into his own cage.
- Dr. Gregory House: Who'll clean the droppings from mine?
- [last lines]
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I don't own House's cases. You had just as much right as I did to write it up. You should have told me but... I should've handled it better too.
- [pauses]
- Dr. Allison Cameron: If we want this not to get in the way of our friendship, I think we both have to apologize and put it behind us.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I like you, really. We have a good time working together. But ten years from now, we're not gonna be hanging out, having dinners. Maybe we'll exchange Christmas cards, say "Hi," give a hug if we're at the same conference. We're not friends, we're colleagues. And I don't have anything to apologize for.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Lovely. Revenge as motive for success.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Well, it doesn't have to be motive. But it sure tastes good.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Is this just one of your experiments? You just wanted to see how I'd react to being screwed over by Foreman?
- Dr. Gregory House: Nice idea, but no. This was just good old-fashioned laziness. Gotta hand it to Foreman though, he knew that you were a suck up and I don't give a crap. He successfully exploited us both.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Right. We're both victims. A simple heads up, that's all I needed. Maybe between your incredibly witty remarks about anal sex and Cuddy's breasts, you could have tipped me off.
- Dr. Gregory House: Then I'd have Foreman pissed at me. And as annoying as you can be, at least I know you're not going to pop a cap in my ass. Witty, huh?
- Dr. Gregory House: [looks after her as she walks] You, on the other hand,
- [Cameron stops in her tracks and turns to him, hands on her hips]
- Dr. Gregory House: continue to be flabbergasted every time someone actually acts like a human being.
- [Cameron softly scoffs]
- Dr. Gregory House: Foreman did what he did 'cause it worked out best that way for him.
- [slightly bends over and raises his eyebrows]
- Dr. Gregory House: That's what everyone does.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: That is not the definition of being human. That's the definition of being an ass.
- [walks away and House turns his head in frustration; cut to moving shot of hospital with background music]
- Dr. Gregory House: Whatever this woman has, it's not showing up on our tests which means she's sick. Just not sick enough for us to see it.
- Dr. Robert Chase: You want us to make her sicker?
- Dr. Gregory House: Yes. I want to stress her body. Specifically her brain. Keep her awake.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Depriving her of even the few minutes of sleep she does have, it's torture.
- Dr. Gregory House: So is cutting people with knives, but you can totally get away with that if you have a doctor coat on.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [to Foreman] You stole my article.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I wouldn't do that.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I wrote up the case where we induced hypothermic cardiac arrest in the terminal cancer girl.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I wrote my own. I didn't steal yours.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: You knew I was writing one. You gave me notes!
- Dr. Gregory House: Got a case. It can wait. You two finish.
- [to Chase]
- Dr. Gregory House: Five bucks says someone loses an eye.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Cameron and Foreman] If you two guys can't play nice together, I'm taking away your toys.
- Anne: [to House about her mother] She has a... menstrual problems. They're really bad. The pain keeps her in bed all day. Plus, she's super depressed.
- Dr. Gregory House: She said "super depressed"?
- Dr. Gregory House: Judging by the redness around your mom's nostrils and the tissue she's got conveniently stashed in her wristband, I'd say her problem is more likely a URI than a PMS.
- Anne: URI?
- Dr. Gregory House: Upper respiratory infection. Cold.
- Anne: I don't think so...
- Dr. Gregory House: I also think she's got a problem with SAC.
- Anne: SAC?
- Dr. Gregory House: Thanks for playing. Stupid American Child. If you want the pill, all you have to do is to walk into any health clinic in Jersey alone and ask for it.
- Dr. Gregory House: I need a little help.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Inexplicable rash on a patient's scrotum you need me to look at?
- Dr. Robert Chase: This will numb you up.
- [sprays a substance in Hannah's open mouth and shot cuts to Foreman watching and Max in the background, far from the doctors and patient]
- Dr. Robert Chase: And this will keep your tongue out of the way. Don't worry; you shouldn't feel anything except for a slight pulling.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: So, you think I was out of line?
- Dr. Robert Chase: That article would've sat on House's desk for the next 6 years.
- [continues with Hannah's mouth]
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [softly] I could've told her.
- Dr. Robert Chase: You could've written it for her, too. She knows House as well as any of us. She should've known she was waiting for him to do something he was never gonna do.
- [puts instrument down; Hannah's eyes begin rapidly moving]
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Chase?
- [Chase turns and expression changes as he sees Hannah's rapidly moving eyes]
- Dr. Robert Chase: Hannah? You still with us?
- Max: What's wrong with her eyes?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [softly] Looks like R.E.M.
- Max: What's that?
- Dr. Robert Chase: [looks over at her] Rapid Eye Movements. It's what your eyes do when you're sleeping.
- Max: [voice breaking] But, she's awake.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: [loudly] Hannah. Hannah, can you hear me?
- Hannah: [slowly looks more alert] Yeah, of course.
- [Chase looks seriously at Foreman]
- Dr. Gregory House: What are you doing here? Who's keeping her awake?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Doesn't matter. Liver function tests are through the sky. The liver's not compromised. It's dead. She doesn't need a diagnosis. She needs a new liver.
- Dr. Gregory House: She's not getting a new liver unless we can figure out what's wrong with her.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Test for cirrhosis: 12 hours. Test for hepatitis: 8. Her liver's not going to last another 6.
- Dr. Gregory House: So your advice is we just give up?
- Dr. Gregory House: It's only moral to save a person if they love you? It's kind of a selfish way of looking at life.