- Dale Gribble: [threatening a Texas DPS clerk] I am your worst nightmare! I have a three-line phone and plenty of time to kill!
- Dale Gribble: Okay, so heading west, the grassy knoll is in front of Kennedy. The book depository is behind him. But... but that makes sense. It can't make sense, it's the Warren Commission report for God's sake! But that means the government could be right!
- Hank Hill: What, you want documentation of my gender? I don't get it. Isn't the Adam's apple I've been yelling at you with proof enough?