- SpongeBob SquarePants: [sings to cheer up and encourage Plankton] 'F' is for friends who do stuff together, 'U' is for you and me, 'N' is for anytime or anywhere at all...
- Chorus: Down here in the deep blue sea!
- Plankton: 'F' is for fire that burns down the whole town, 'U' is for Uranium bombs. 'N' is for no survivors when you...
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Plankton, those things aren't what F.U.N. is all about. Now do it like this. 'F' is for friends who...
- Plankton: Never! It's completely idiotic.
- Squidward: Good evening, and welcome to the first Annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show. Sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty... 'cause no one else would give it a home.
- Mr. Krabs: As you know, profits are way down this month. We need a new gimmick to bring in customers. Do you lubbers have any ideas?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: How about this? A free pair of socks with every purchase. Or maybe, Double Patty Midnight Madness! Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! How about Mouth Full of Clams Day? Anyone who comes in with a mouth full of clams gets a free drink. Huh? Huh?
- Squidward: ["Talent Night" Audience is booing and throwing food at Squidward] You bottom feeders! You don't even KNOW talent!
- Audience: NO TALENT! NO TALENT!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [to Plankton, who is in disguise in front of a magic shop] Have you seen a Krabby Patty? It's about this tall, and... Wow, a magic shop! Are you a magician? One time, I saw a magician, and he did this thing, and then... well, anyway, he said that if you believe in yourself, and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.
- Plankton: Augh! I can't take it!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Plankton! It's you!
- Plankton: Yes, and after all these years, I thought I was the master of torture. But that! That just wasn't fair!
- Plankton: All right, it's true! I tricked you to get to the Krabby Patty, but then you showed me friendship, and now I realize that's all I ever really wanted.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Really?
- Plankton: No, not really. Being evil is too much fun!
- Mr. Krabs: [Mr Krabs has put a Krabby Patty out to tempt Plankton, but it's still on the table when Plankton and Spongebob leave] Maybe the lad's right. Maybe Plankton's gone straight.
- [the Krabby patty falls over, revealing that it has been replaced with a cardboard cutout]
- Mr. Krabs: And maybe SCALLOPS'LL FLY OUTTA ME PANTS!
- Gary the Snail: [Doing performance poetry] Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!
- Sandy Cheeks: Oh, he has such a way with words!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Here at the Krusty Krab, you are the captain, and I am your cabin boy. You just give the word, and I'll throw myself in the brig! May I take your order?
- SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. I thought Plankton had changed.
- Mr. Krabs: Don't blame yourself, boy. No friendship can withtstand the allure of a Krabby Patty. Now, let's go back to the Krusty Krab and have a fresh one, on me.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Aye aye, Mr. Krabs.
- Mr. Krabs: Well, maybe at a discount.
- Plankton: That naive cube! How long must I suffer this?
- Karen: You're not letting him get away, are you? Can't you see? This is the perfect opportunity for revenge.
- Plankton: Elaborate.
- Karen: Befriend the SpongeBob, then, when the timing is just right, take the Krabby Patty.
- Plankton: Take the Krabby Patty.
- Karen: Get moving, genius. Don't let him get away.
- Squidward: How does it feel to be the most hated person in Bikini Bottom? Doesn't feel good, does it? I know.
- Mr. Krabs: [Mr. Krabs has put a Krabby Patty out to tempt Plankton, but it's still on the table when Plankton and Spongebob leave] Well, maybe the lad's right. Maybe Plankton HAS gone straight.
- [the Krabby patty falls over, revealing that it has been replaced with a cardboard cutout]
- Mr. Krabs: And maybe scallops'll fly outta me pants!