The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
The Two Faces of Rob (1962)
Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie
Quotes
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Sally Rogers : [about Laura] Oh, come on, Rob, she's teasing you because she thought you were teasing her. She knows it's you.
Rob Petrie : [Shakes head] She thought it was him.
Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : That's what she wants you to think. She knows it was you.
Rob Petrie : You gonna tell me about her? You may know you, but you don't know her. She thought it was him
Sally Rogers : Well, I know her, and I know you, and I'm telling you she knows it's you.
Rob Petrie : You think you know about us? I am part of us, and I don't know her, but I know her better than you know her, and I tell you that she thought it was him and not me!
Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : I like the way your eyes light up when you go crazy.
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Rob Petrie : [after apologizing to Laura] I don't blame you for not jumping to forgive me. I'm not even asking you to forgive me. I'm not even asking you to be nice to me. I'm-I'm just asking you to let me LIVE here.
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Rob Petrie : [as Dr. Benelli] Carissima, I must see you. I must see you this afternoon for cocktails. The Casa Maria at 4.
Laura Petrie : I'm sorry, I can't be there... I could make it at 4:30 though.
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Sally Rogers : Uh, Rob, suppose Laura shows up at the bar at 4:30.
Rob Petrie : She won't. There's not a chance.
Sally Rogers : Well, just suppose she does.
Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : Then she'll be stood up.
Rob Petrie : Look, she will not be stood up because she is not gonna be there. Now, she is my wife and I know her. I don't know why I've carried this ridiculous thing on as long as I have. I-I should've told her a long time ago and told her the truth. Believe me, when I get home tonight, I'm gonna... I'm gonna explain the whole ridiculous thing to her.
Sally Rogers : Boy, she's gonna give it to you pretty good, Rob.
Rob Petrie : Oh, no, not Laura. She won't say a word. For months.
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Rob Petrie : [in an Italian accent] Carissima, are you married?
Laura Petrie : Would it make a difference?
Rob Petrie : Eh... well, no, I... I suppose not.
Laura Petrie : Then why ask the question?
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Rob Petrie : [Laura is singing dolce fare niente as she walks to the kitchen] Dolce fare niente. She never hummed my phone calls.