- Danny: I just got back from taking D.J. to her written test. It's horrible.
- Jesse: She failed, huh?
- D.J.: [runs in] I PASSED!
- Kimmy Gibbler: [comes in behind her] I failed! I can't believe it! I copied every one of D.J.'s answers!
- Jesse: Kimmy, they give everyone different tests so nobody can cheat.
- Kimmy Gibbler: They do? Well that's what's wrong with this world, nobody trusts anyone.
- D.J.: [Danny is teaching D.J. to drive his car] Okay, car on.
- [starts engine]
- Danny: Whoa, whoa, aren't you forgetting something?
- D.J.: Oh, yeah. Radio on.
- [turns on radio; classical music plays]
- D.J.: Ooh, Dad.
- [changes station to rock]
- D.J.: [Danny turns off radio] Dad, I have to learn to drive with music like any normal person.
- Danny: I don't want you driving like a normal person. I want you driving like me.
- Danny: [slowly coasting through an empty parking lot in Danny's car] This is nice. See, there's no need to be a speed demon.
- D.J.: Dad, I think a snail just passed us.
- Danny: Wait, stop! Stop!
- D.J.: Now what?
- Danny: You're heading straight for that tree, don't you see it?
- [the tree is located far on the other side of the lot]
- D.J.: You can't mean that tree at the other end of the lot. Dad, I am nowhere near it.
- Danny: I didn't say you were near it. I asked you if you SAW it. D.J., you are never going to learn to drive if you don't listen to me.
- D.J.: Well, I'll never learn because you don't want me to learn!
- Danny: Oh, okay. Okay, that's it. You are way too emotional to be in the driver's seat. Switch places.
- D.J.: Fine.
- Danny: Fine.
- D.J.: [Danny and Jesse are arguing] Hey, if you two won't behave, I'll turn this car right around and go straight home.
- Danny: Sorry.
- D.J.: Okay. Signal. Check my mirror. Look over my shoulder. And pull out into traffic for the very first time. I'm really driving!
- Jesse: Pretty good, huh, Danny?
- Danny: Yeah, I'm actually feeling good about this.
- D.J.: Can I turn on the radio?
- Danny, Jesse: No.
- Kimmy Gibbler: My dad's taking me for my first test drive. Oh the joker, he's wearing a blindfold. See ya.
- [leaves]
- D.J.: For the first time in my lief, I wish I was a Gibbler.
- Kimmy Gibbler: [passing her written test] It was amazing! I read the book, I took the test, and I remembered the stuff I read!
- D.J.: You mean you studied?
- Kimmy Gibbler: Is that what I did? Wow!
- Danny: [teaching D.J. to drive in his car] Follow my instructions completely now. First, adjust the mirrors. Very good. Now, Deej, listen to me. Get your radar out. Examine the big picture. Check for traffic, pedestrians, stray cattle...
- D.J.: Dad, we're in an empty parking lot.
- Danny: Are you going to question every instruction I give you?
- D.J.: Sorry. No cattle.
- Danny: Now, secure the litter bag.
- D.J.: This is unbelievable.
- [Danny gives her a look]
- D.J.: Litter bag secure, sir.