- Mr. Anthony DeMartino: Ms. Morgendorffer, where were you Monday afternoon?
- Daria Morgendorffer: After watching frustrated faculty members squander yet another day trying to teach the unteachable, I went home and studied so I won't wind up in a job that combines the stress level of a neurosurgeon with the pay scale of a video clerk.
- Mr. Anthony DeMartino: Your transparent attempt to derail my line of questioning with sarcasm has been noted.
- Brittany Taylor: Kevvy, what's that A doing on your paper?
- Mr. Anthony DeMartino: Why Brittany, that's the most intelligent question you've asked all year.
- Brittany Taylor: Thanks!
- Mr. Anthony DeMartino: Forgive me my SUSPICIONS, but it's obvious that SOMEONE, Kevin, got a hold of the test BEFOREHAND, Kevin, which would account for the JIMMIED LOCK ON MY FILING CABINET, KEVIN!
- Daria Morgendorffer: But who does he really suspect?
- Jane Lane: That Jimmy guy?
- Mr. Anthony DeMartino: [to Kevin] Perhaps you would like to share with us your knowledge in this matter?
- Kevin Thompson: But I don't know anything!
- Daria Morgendorffer: Can't accuse him of lying there.