- Archie Bunker: [after nearly destroying the kitchen while completely burning a steak] Well, there's always Froot Loops.
- Archie Bunker: [Archie and Mike have just struggled to get a mattress out the kitchen door] From here on it's clear sailing.
- [Sound of a loud crash]
- Archie Bunker: I told you, Edith, to get them garbage cans to the curb!
- Gloria Bunker-Stivic: [Mike is moving a mattress to their new home without help from Archie] Honey, let me help you with that.
- Archie Bunker: No, no, little girl, get away from that! You ain't supposed to be doin' nothin' in your condition.
- Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Aw, Daddy, please don't say 'condition'. You make it sound like I've got the Heartbreak of Psoriasis
- [the slogan of a popular commercial in the 1970s]
- Gloria Bunker-Stivic: .
- Gloria Bunker-Stivic: I don't have a condition. I'm pregnant.
- Archie Bunker: [annoyed] Well, don't say that! Can't you say you're expectin'? Jeez, 'pregnant' sounds like you done somethin'.
- Michael 'Meathead' Stivic: [deadpan] We did!
- Archie Bunker: Well, you don't have to go advertisin' it to the world. What you do in the privates of your own room is your own privates.
- Edith Bunker: When I was a little girl and a woman was startin' to show, they used to say she was expectin' a bundle from heaven. But, of course, everybody knew it was really a baby.
- Archie Bunker: Well, I wish we could get back to them days. What this world needs is a little more of that class. Well, herein before, when we talk about Gloria's condition, now, we're just gonna say she's, she's 'expectin'.
- Edith Bunker: Or, 'in a family way'?
- Archie Bunker: Or, 'with child'.
- Michael 'Meathead' Stivic: How do you feel about 'knocked up'?