Oliver Beene (TV Series)

Daughter for a Day (2004)

Grant Shaud: Dr. Jerrimiah 'Jerry' Beene

Quotes 

• [after spending the morning male-bonding in places like the steam room, Oliver and his Dad are now having lunch] 

  Narrator : I'd been scalded, beaten, scraped and seen my Dad's weiner, but at least now I was a man.

  Oliver David Beene : [he suddenly grabs his back in pain]  Oy!

  Narrator : A 90-year-old man.

  Dr. Jerrimiah 'Jerry' Beene : I hope you're hungry. Feast your eyes on Dr Beene's Saturday Special: chili burgers, cheese fries, hot dogs, onion rings, milk shakes, and... steak and eggs!

  Oliver David Beene : Oh my God! It's everything I love, all in one place.

  Dr. Jerrimiah 'Jerry' Beene : Hang on. Don't forget your vegetables.

  [he places the ketchup bottle in front of Oliver, and they laugh hysterically] 

  Narrator : Wow. Bonding with the Old Man over 650 grams of fat. What could be more grown up than that?

  [a waitress pours Oliver's Dad a cup of coffee] 

  Narrator : Of course. The elixir of manhood.

  Oliver David Beene : Wait, please. Hey, Dad... could I get a cup of coffee?

  Dr. Jerrimiah 'Jerry' Beene : Mmmm, I don't know, Oliver. I'm not sure you're old enough.

  Oliver David Beene : Look, if I'm old enough to get beat with a branch

  [he's referring to the sauna earlier] 

  Oliver David Beene : I think I can handle a little coffee.

  Dr. Jerrimiah 'Jerry' Beene : Mabel... my son wants a cup of coffee.

  Narrator : Then, Dad said the words that have bonded fathers and sons for centuries.

  Dr. Jerrimiah 'Jerry' Beene : [whispering]  Just don't tell your mother.